Memories (BoyxBoy)

A light in the dark

Thirteen years ago: May 4, 2009

I stand motionless in the shower, the scalding hot water pouring down my back as I stare blankly at the white tiled wall before me. The burning sensation is nice, I guess it reminds me that I actually still know how to feel something. My eyes go out of focus and I watch the water droplets running down my bruised arms before falling to my feet. My gaze shifts downwards at my body and I grimace at the way my stomach sticks out ever so slightly, showing off a few scars and more bruises that are still slightly dark. Disgusting.

"Kai! Get your ass out here!" That's Marcus.

I sigh in annoyance and shut the water off, stepping out of the small shower stall and grabbing for a dingy white towel to dry myself off. Using the slightly damp towel to wipe the steam from the little mirror, I stare at myself critically; all my horrible features and flaws only highlighted by the awful lighting. My eyes have shadows beneath them from lack of sleep, my lips are pulled into a permanent frown, and my cheeks look almost hollow. In all honesty, I look like the very definition of death.

"Kai!" Marcus yells again.

"Give me five damn minutes!"I growl back.

Pulling on my jeans I look down at mythighs and frown at how grotesque they look. There really isn't anything I like about myself, and I can't be wrong, seeing as everyone else in my life agrees that I'm a disgusting waste of space. Why am I still here? What is even left for me here? Nothing. That'swhat.

Finally dressed, I plug in my crappy straightener and pull out the blow dryer to dry my hair while it heats up.

Walking into the kitchen, I smell something revolting. It doesn't take long to notice that the kitchen is in a horrific state. The garbage is over flowing, and the dishes are piled up and have flies buzzing around the old food caked on them. The counters look like they have a layer of some gross, sticky substance covering them. Just lovely.

"About fucking time," Marcus grumbles from the kitchen table.

I watch in disdain as he snorts a line before getting up and running into the bathroom. Mom sits in another chair, looking off at nowhere in particular, eyes glassy and sweatbreaking out on her forehead. I almost feel something knot in mychest, but feel it disappear almost instantly. I truly hate seeing her like this, but it's not an uncommon sight.

It wasn't always this way. My mom used to be really quite wonderful. She'd clean and cook and watch movies with me. Ever since she met Marcus though? She's been this trainwreck and I'm always left to be the adult. It's been this way since I was about seven or eight years old.

Wow. Ten years went by really slow.

I walk over to my mom and rest a hand on her shoulder, but she doesn't even seem to notice. "Mom? Hey, why don't you go lay down? You don't look so good."

She nods absentmindedly, but doesn't move an inch. She's not really with me right now, at least not mentally. I decide to leave her and grab a decent looking apple from the fridge. After only a couple bites, I feel like I'm going to be sick though. Food just won't stay down anymore. At least, not since I stopped letting it.

"OW! Dammit Kai! Your stupid shit burned me!" I hear Marcus scream from down the hall, footsteps tromping my way.

Crap. I had left my straightener on atop the bathroom counter. Quickly gathering my bag, I run through the living room and hurry out the door. I don't really want to stick around and see what Marcus has planned for me this time. I rub my left side, thinking back to the last time I pissed him off. It would probably be best if I don't come home until late tonight, when he's coked out of his mind and won't might not notice me come in. If I can avoid at least one beating today, that would be wonderful.