Memories (BoyxBoy)

What now?

May 5, 2009

I open my eyes and squint as the terribly bright light that pours through my bedroom window shines over me. My eyes slowly focus on the world around them, and I watch the flecks of dust dancing in the air where the sun touches them. The night passed with ease for once and I wasn't sure why. For years now I have been soused to being awoken by nightmares and at worse times, night terrors.Those were the worst. The dreams that pulled you so far under, and showed you your worst fear; all of it feeling so realistic while you're unable to wake up. But, my dreams were filled with memories of that blue-eyed boy. Jace.

I lift a very sore arm and press two fingers lightly to my lips. I had smiled yesterday. I can't even remember the last time I was happy enough to do such a thing. It felt so great, but it hadn't lasted long. Now that I'm back in reality, back home in my shit hole life, I can see that it was all just pure luck. Something that more than likely will never happen again and I should just let it go, or else I'll allow myself to dwell and wait for something like it re-occur, knowing fully well it wouldn't.

The sound of something being slammed echoes through the house, followed by an angry growl. Marcus is angry; very, very angry. My heart almost stops as I hear his feet stomp down the hall, coming closer and closer to my room. Within seconds, the door slams open and Marcus makes it to me in two strides.

"You lil' shit! I just got a call from your school saying you ditched and disobeyed your teacher yesterday!" Marcus yells.

My eyes widen in fear. I had been such an idiot, to think that the school wouldn't report yesterday to my parents. Did I really think I would get away with it? I just hadn't been thinking, I'd been so hurt and sad and all I could think about was ending it. In all honesty, I didn't think I would be alive to get in shit today.

"I-I can explain!" I cry out as Marcus takes a fist full of my hair and roughly pulls me off my bed and out of the room.

A strangled cry rips from my throat as I'm dragged by the hair through the hallway and into the kitchen where my head is finally dropped and hits the cold linoleum floor.Before I can collect myself, I feel Marcus' hand grab the fabric of my shirt and pull me up to strike me. I fall once more, but this time I'm ready and immediately try to roll onto my stomach and crawl away.I think that maybe I'll get away and that he's done, but I close my eyes in fear as I feel his hand close around my ankle to yank me back and then kick me hard in the groin.

"Marcus, stop! He gets it! He won't do it again! Right, Kai?" My mother cries as she runs into the kitchen half dressed, trying to pull Marcus away.

I try to turn around, to tell her to stay out of it, but I'm too late. Marcus swings and I watch with tears in my eyes as his fist connects with her cheek. My mom falls to the floor, crying and holding her face, and I feel the rage explode inside me. No one hurts my mother.

With all the strength I have left in my body, I climb to my feet and lunge at an unsuspecting Marcus. He let's out a shout of surprise as he somehow falls under my weight. I don't hesitate, or give him time to retaliate.

"You. Don't. Fucking. Touch. Her!" I scream as my fists begin repeatedly swinging until his face is a bloody mess.

When I finally stand and see the coughing, delirious Marcus laying there bloody and half-conscious, I feel that aching knot inside my chest. I feel like I should cry, but I will not waste tears over this worthless man.

I hurry over to the fridge and pull an ice pack from the freezer that I had there for myself and bring it back to my crying mother. Gently pulling her hands from her face, I press the cold pack to her cheek and brush away the last of her tears, trying to look her in the eye and see the mother I miss so dearly, but all I see is a broken shell of a woman.