Memories (BoyxBoy)

Blindsided

July 22, 2009

My feet pound against the cold, hard hospital floors, squeaking and echoing as I run, not stopping until I catch sight of Zoe stepping out from the waiting room, looking at me in shock. I must be quite the scene. Sobbing, hair a mess, running in the opposite direction of my terminally ill lover. How fucking pathetic.

"Kai!? What are you doing? Did you see Jace yet?" She asks.

At the sound of his name a pathetic choked sound escapes me, "Yeah, I fucking saw him."

"Well? Is he alright?" She asks, looking more worried by the second as Zaq comes up behind her.

I shake my head, clamping my hands on either side as I pull at fistfuls of hair, stumbling against the wall as sobs wrack my entire body. The pain is next to unbearable, like a knife lodged in my chest, making it impossible to breathe.

"Kai!" Martyn's voice comes from somewhere behind me.

I turn, sobs calming slightly as I stand straight, anger flooding my veins as a very concerned looking Martyn comes towards me. "Stay the fuck away from me!"

Martyn halts immediately, taken back by my hostility, "Will you let me talk? Please? I want to explain."

I shake my head, scoffing in disbelief, "It's a little late for that, don't you think? It would have been nice to know a while ago that the only person who's ever made me feel like a someone, gave me reason to live, did so fucking much for me and who stole my god damn heart is fucking dying! Cancer! Fucking cancer! When were any of you planning on telling me? At his bloody funeral!?"

Zoe gasps softly behind me, stepping forward to try and comfort me, but I harshly shrug her hand off, "Kai, please... let me help you. This is hard, but you don't need to go through it alone."

I clench my teeth, having flashbacks of the times Jace said something along those lines. Everyone leaves me. He promised he wouldn't, he promised he was fine. He lied to me! He kept so much shit from me!

Martyn sighs and turns to Zoe and Zaq,"Jace has been diagnosed with stage two lung cancer. He'd been in remission for over a year, but it's back and it's spread from where it had been previously."

"I figured it was something like that... I just hoped I was wrong , "Zaq says softly.

I turn around slowly, turning my glare on him, "You knew? And you never thought to even mention it!?"

"Look, Kai. Zaq is a medical major, he saw some signs and had a slight idea, but he didn't want to say anything that might worry you in case he was wrong!" Zoe says, trying to ease the tension.

I step back, eyes wide in disbelief, "You, too? You fucking knew about this, too!?"

Zoe visibly flinches, realizing her mistake. She opens her mouth, reaching out to me, but I quickly slap her hand away and back away from all three of them who just stare at me with pitying stares.

"I might be able to understand Martyn hiding it if Jace asked him to, and maybe Zaq because I don't know him as well, but you Zoe? I really expected more from the only other person I've ever fucking trusted.... don't talk to me anymore." I say, voice becoming shaky as I try to fight off more sobs.

I turn and start walking down the hall, but Zoe runs ahead of me and tries to get in my way, "Kai. Kai! Wh-where are you going?"

"Away from this place and all you fucking liars," I seethe.

She shakes her head furiously, tears pouring down her cheeks now, "Where will you go? Please, Kai. Can't we just talk about this?"

"Who the fuck cares where I go? There's nothing to talk about, I'm leaving. I can't be here one more second," I mutter and step past her, but she grips my hand.