Friendship on Fire

Part 12 ~ Yours truly

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Hey Jojo . . 

I hope you're having fun in Germany. . it's been 5 days and I'm all out of ideas what to do with myself. I did play basketball with the guys today but when I'm home watching TV it's not the same without you.

You don't have to feel bad about saturday night. . . we were both just not ready and that's ok. Actually, I'm glad we didn't do it. . . . not because I didn't want to, believe me I WANTED to. . but when your legs started shaking and you started crying I just couldn't go through with it . . I guess that was a sign from god that we're just not ready . . maybe not now but maybe sometime in the near future? . . .  You apologized to me a million times but you don't have to . . . just because I hate still being a virgin doesn't mean that you have to feel bad for me. It's my problem and I have to find a way how to deal with it on my own.

The guys from school make fun of me but I decide to just not care anymore. I don't wanna take your virginity just because they're all a bunch of mean assfaces . . when we decide to have sex I want you to do it because you really want to . . . for yourself and not just for me. . . Girl,  I care about you so much that I often forget that we're just friends . . . Sometimes when we watch TV I just want to hold you in my arms . . and sometimes I wish i could just kiss you through the phone. . I know we're just friends but you mean so much more to me than you really know, Joanna. . . .

It's almost midnight and I can't fall asleep . . . I've been thinking about you all day everyday . . . I hope you have fun in Germany but I also hope that you come back soon. I'll bring this letter to your window now and then i'll try to go to back to sleep . .

PS: Would you hate me if I told you that a huge reason why I'm afraid of having sex with you is because I'm scared I might fall for you? 

Yours truly,
Michael
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I can't breathe . . I'm crying so hard . .



~ to be continued ~