Writing The Tides

Induratize (v.)

"What do you mean you don't wanna go out with me?"

"Lance, for the last time, it's not like that."

The two boys, after their certain episode in the swimming pool, had been hanging out nonstop for the past week, and currently were lounging in Keith's living room. They had kept their little moment to themselves, but Lance was never good with secrets- every waking moment he felt like a balloon being pushed under a steam truck, just seconds away from ripping out the whole truth- just a picture, or a text, and the whole world would know, just like that- it'd be so simple. I mean, he's always been super public with relationships before, why not this one?

Well for one thing, his partner in mind, Keith Akira Kogane, was the biggest social hermit he'd ever met. Who would think that Lance Mclain, the dramatic, over the top, party animal, would fall for Keith, the boy who cried for three days when MCR broke up, the boy who happened to be the living embodiment of Nico di Angelo, the boy who could mold words like clay and make them his own, the boy who was sitting across from him with the fondest smile he'd ever seen, and Lance's heart was breaking just from the sight.

And the other thing, arguably the most important, the thing that had been protruding Lance's mind for the past week, is: after all that flirting, all that drama, after everything they had been through...

Keith didn't want a relationship.

And Lance, the boy who carried Keith's world on his shoulders, who was smiling, laughing along to every line falling out of pink tinted lips he missed, was trying so hard to be okay with that.

But Lance could feel himself falling, hard. And he knew that when his heart collides with the ground, it was gonna take a lot more than a couple drinks to fix it. 

~

Keith was shielding a war behind his eyes, disorientation and fear crowded with a sense of longing so muddled he could barely see, questions shooting through his mind like arrows without a target. He hadn't been this confused since he was figuring out his sexuality. 

Did he like Lance? Hell yes. He'd been pining for his ass ever since they'd met, and Keith had practically died when he realized his feelings were actually reciprocated. But that was just it. Keith was all too familiar with the 'oh I like him but he has no idea so I'm just going to ignore it until my feelings eventually go away or swallow me whole' scenario, one that's reoccured quite often throughout his life; but all this? Whole nother story. 

Internally, there was a part of Keith that just wanted to say 'fuck it' and finally start dating again, leave it to faith, fall for Lance even harder and hope for the best. But Keith was a realist, and he and Lance were so different. Who knows how bad this could end? He didn't want to fuck things up, he could sacrifice his feelings, if it meant he could spare the both of them in the long run. 

Couldn't he?

~

"Hey, I've been thinking..." Lance sat up against the couch, arms hugging each other as he caught Keith's attention. 

"Yeah?"

"Well, Shay is hosting a party tonight..." Lance smiled softly, "Since spring break is coming up and stuff..."

"Okay. Are you gonna go?" Keith's eyes flickered, closing his phone he'd been scrolling through to the side.

"Well, yeah...I was wondering if you might, I don't know, come with me?" Lance leaned forward slightly, silently waiting.

"As a date?" Keith asked, staring blankly.

"Yes! I mean no, well..." Lance took a breathe, "whatever you want."