The Ghetto Version: With Cindy McPherson

1.4K 32 40
                                        

I feel I do segments for these niggas too much... Do you guys like them? If you don't I'll stop lol I feel like I'm being too extra.. Anyways, new segment for Cindy called the Ghetto Version.. Basically, Cindy turns something so sweet and into something ghetto asf.. In this.. Moana

-_-

An Interview sits across from a Polynesian girl who had tattoos all over her body. She was chewing gum and had an ore next to her.

"Hello Miss..."

"Moana," She pops her gum. "The Chief of Motunui, nigga."

"Yes," The interview looks startled. "Miss Moana. I've heard you recently became chief?"

"Yup."

"And how is it being chief?"

"Mane them niggas always got a problem! 'Moana, there's a hole in my room' 'Moana, we all outta pork, can we cook Pua?' Like damn get yo shit togetha on yo own!" 

"So you don't like bein Chief?" The interviewer asks.

"Who the fuck said that?" Moana laughs. "Them niggas do every damn thing I want!"

"Do you think you're a better chief than your father?"

"That nigga couldn't even get passed the damn reef! Hell yea I'm betta!"

"Well you couldn't get passed the reef the first time," The interview reminds her. Moana glares at him,

"That bitch ass ocean was plannin sum shit. That's why the wind changed and my boat just happened to tip over."

"Do you remember the ocean coming to you as a baby?"

"Do you remember anything when you were a baby?" Moana questions. "I didn't think so. So obviously I don't remember."

"Well, your grandmother was there that day. She saw what happened."

"So? Her ass ain't tell me till I was like 16. Ya know, the ocean could've done that shit they damn self. If yo ass can hold a heart for that damn long, why not give it to Te Ka yo damn self?"

"Well, if you didn't go then you would have never met Maui," The interviewer says.

"FUCK MAUI!" Moana yells, slamming her oar on the ground. "That uppity, arrogant, punk ass nigga! His prissy ass mad that he stole the fuckin heart and doomed all of humanity. But had the audacity to not only try and leave me on an island, but throw me off a damn boat? That bitch can kiss my damn ass! I was the one who saved the entire world any damn way. Fuck Maui!"

"So you don't associate yourself with Maui?"

"Who said that? Nah, that nigga got sum bomb ass di-"

"And so, did you teach everyone how to sail when you got back?" The interview asks quickly.

"Yea, I guess. They asses didn't know shit! Like normal."

"Well, do you plan on having any other adventure?"

"Mane, I don't know. Do you plan on not bein nosey?" Moana snaps.

"Well, I guess that concludes our interview," The interview says.

"It betta," Moana get's up, stretching. "I got islands to go and discover!"

"Moana, Maui wants to see you!" Someone calls.

"UGH! I'm coming!" Moana replies sweetly.

Boondocks RandomWhere stories live. Discover now