Boondocks Random

Types of Drunks

There are many types of drunks in the world. However, drinking may not be for everyone and if you know how you are when you're drunk, put the damn tequila down 😐.

6 individuals drink their lives away, not realizing the emotional state they're about to enter.

First, there's Jazmine: Our bitchy drunk.

When drinking, Jazmine turns into the biggest bitch of the west. She may be sweet when sober, but trust me, you don't wanna mess with her when she's been drinking.

"Jazzy, you know where C-Murph went?" Riley asked, not knowing Jazmine had had 4 too many shots of vodka.

"Do I look like a fuckin GPS to you, bitch?" She would rudely reply.

Jazmine, for some odd reason, gets very irritable when intoxicated and cannot be around people.

Then there's Cindy, our "wanna think about the world" drunk. You'd think Cindy was high with the way she acts when drunk.

Cindy likes to think about the little things of the world and turn into a philosopher when drunk.

"You ever wonder why fridges were made?" Cindy asks. "Like, who was like, 'Imma build a rectangle shaped thing and put food inside it.' Like that shits crazy."

This would cause people to stare at Cindy like she's crazy and walk away slowly.

Riley, would be known as an emotional drunk.

As most know, emotional drinks are the worst kind of drunk because they think about the saddest thing in the world and get depressed over it. Also, little things make them upset.

"Reezy, you've drank you much. Let's go get something to drink," Jada tells him, trying to get him to go with her.

"So I'm an alcoholic?" Riley questions, tears streaming down his eyes. "Is that all you think of me?"

For such a "tough" guy, Riley is very much a crybaby bitch when he's drunk.

Caesar would be known as a goofy drunk.

Most people love drunks like this because they're fun and funny to be around.

"Yo, Riley stop bitching!" Caesar giggles, "main one calling people gay but you deep down you the biggest fag out there!"

Caesar was fun when drunk however when clashed with Jada, its never good.

Jada would be known as the crazy drunk.

Think about it: Jada is always crazy anyways. But when drunk she goes from 0 to 100 faster and than she's supposed to.

Caesar laughs nonstop as a drunk Jazmine glares at him evilly.

"Shut the hell up!" She would snap.

Jada snaps her head towards them.

"What did you say to him?" Drunk Jada questions.

"You need to tell your loud boyfriend to shut up!"

Jada would start laughing, no one knowing why. Then, she'd pounce, beating everyone in her paths ass.

"You smell like blood and strawberries!" Caesar would laugh as Jada stroked his head, holding him close.

Now, there's only one more drunk you need to worry about and that's Huey.

Huey would be known as the sexual drunk.

When drunk, Huey turns into a sex machine, trying to grind, kiss, and do whatever to his significant other. On most occasions, this would annoy a drunk Jazmine.

"Come on, babe," Huey smirks, "Let's just go upstairs."

"You always trynna fuck someone," Jazmine spat. "You got some yesterday, go hump someone else."

Denying Huey what he wants will result in a irritated teenage boy with terrible hormones.

And that, my friends, are the 6 types of drunks in the Freeman house.

What kind of drunk are you? Who am I kidding, most of you aren't even drinking age.

Well, what kind of drunk do you think you are?

And remember, drink responsibly. If you're one of these drunks, dont drink.