More Than Words Book III: More Than Love

Chapter 6

This song's my favourite for .. a lot of reasons. Enjoy it while reading :)

Perawit does not allude to Krist although funny it is the coincidence. He is based on a character from an older Thai Lakorn I had mentioned in one of the fics long back. So, here he is (and for reasons).

And, am back as promised ;) Who's ready for SOTUS S

Arthit wakes up as soon as the alarm starts ringing and turns around on his bed, smiling wanting to touch the warm body next to him before he gets ready for his work. His smile falls as soon as his hand touches. No body, no warmth does his fingertips brush past. It touches only empty spaces, cold spots. Arthit slides closer to the other side of the bed he doesn't occupy on habit. It had become someone else's. Even though it had been for a short while, the habit had remained. Even though Arthit had lived alone longer, he still slept only on one side of the bed. He Pat's his pillow with one hand and nuzzles into slightly, wistfully staring at the unoccupied side. It had been a dream then.

But it had felt too real. Like a memory. 

Arthit looks up towards the window and outside. There's that building. From where he is laying, he can't see that floor, that balcony. He is kind of glad.  He doesn't want to be reminded too much of Kongphob. He had let the other man go. It will do him no good thinking of him, seeing him but he still dreams of him. Remembers the morning afters he has had with him. Arthit gives a short laugh and turns on his back. What good will any of this bring?

But sometimes it is good to remember the days when he had been loved. Wanted.

***

Kongphob sits in a room full of employees. His sister is making some approval and nodding to or discarding ideas. Kongphob mimics her gestures for the most part. He is not really listening. He can't.

After his sister has to call him out for the third time because he fails to respond when his turn comes, he asks to be excused and walks out, heading straight for the Restroom. He washes his face and stares at his reflection in the mirror above the sink.

Get a grip.

It is easy to say it but is just as difficult to follow through. The restraint he has had to put on himself from visiting Arthit, to just go and check on him, to see how he is doing. He can still see Arthit's face, his betrayed expression in the car when he told him he'll let him go if he didn't want. Kongphob. It had eerily been like when he had put the rose on Arthit's table before he had said those words.

Every other day his mind tried to convince him that Arthit had not meant it. They had run, taken that escape because that was what Arthit always did whenever he was cornered. He ran. Kongphob has seen that many times. Even when he had believed years Arthit had not wanted him, the older man's close friends had told him other. Had told him how he had been suffering alone.

Kongphob is a man full of pride but for Arthit he would put all of that. Only if he knew for sure. Even though Arthit had chosen to not want Kongphob to not pursue him anymore but he had not said anything. He had run just like that. Each time he had run away, he had come back to Kongphob. But Kongphob was exhausted. He was tired of trying to guess everything and second guess every action because that happened no matter what happened. So even though he believes Arthit still loves him he can't do anything about it. He won't do anything about it.