More Than Words Book III: More Than Love

Chapter 9

When Kongphob hands over his car's keys to Arthit, the latter is perturbed. Kongphob sits in the shotgun perfectly still, facing the window. Their ride back is one of silence and he grows anxious by the second. If he might have broken a traffic rule or two, he can't be blamed. They reach Kongphob's building in record time. He doesn't know how to deal with this Kongphob. When they had been in a relationship, he had tried by trying to distract him but he hadn't managed. And this Kongphob is 12 years of unknown Kongphob. He has shit idea of where he can begin. So, he just silently follows him till his flat because the other hasn't already asked him to leave and Arthit doesn't want to leave. Not yet.

Kongphob types his passcode and unlocks the door. He pulls open and.. waits. So, Arthit gets inside. The taller man enters next and lightly pushes the metal door. He doesn't lock it, Arthit notices. So, he lingers there while Kongphob one by one takes his own shoes and socks off. He even shrugs off his suit while Arthit stands near the door, fidgeting. It finally catches Kongphob's attention who looks wee bit surprised to see him standing.

"You are still here."

Kongphob sounds like he was confounded.

"I am."

His gaze is searching and Arthit finds himself holding his breath.

"I - You are..."  Kongphob opens and shuts his mouth several times. His hands ball into fists on his sides. "P'Arthit... " He still doesn't utter the rest of the words.

"Yes, Kong?" Kongphob flinches but he doesn't say anything, staring at Arthit. The shorter man sighs. "You will have to say for me to know what you want." He can see the other's Adam's apple bob up and down. Arthit cautiously takes a step forward. Kongphob takes a step back. Arthit in halts his step and goes one step back. But, Kongphob's tightening fists makes up his mind. "You can't wait for me to know if you don't tell me."

"I-" Kongphob's voice cracks a little and he clears his throat and tries again. "I am selfish, P'Arthit."

Arthit looks at him perplexed. "Why?"

"And with my selfishness, I had thought I would keep you with me." Oh. "But, I loved you too much, P'Arthit. I couldn't keep you with me." Arthit takes that step and Kongphob shakes his head. "You didn't deserve all the shit I had thrown at you. You had been nothing but good to me but I had just.  I didn't deserve you."

"Kongphob, you didn't-"

"My grief.. however much  it had been, I had had no right-"

"It's okay, Kongphob. It's okay." Arthit can't help but wonder what has brought about this.

"No, no. No. It isn't. What I did- What I left you feeling with - you deserved someone much better."

Arthit scowls. "I don't want anyone else."

Kongphob's eyes well up. "You should."