More Than Words Book III: More Than Love

Chapter 10

Because a few of the readers had asked am not really updating the other fics as of now because I have forgotten the plot plans/dialogues/scenes (down to the ending and their sequels) which had made for them hence, they are on a .. relative.. pause. No hiatus though. Thank you for your patience. Hope you continue to support them just as much :)

{For the person who had left the comment about having read the fic to sleep and waking up after dreaming it, your comment disappeared(?) before I could reply to it. I hope you get to see loads of such dreams ;) }

"You are still here."

Kongphob is confounded why Arthit followed him. Why he is still there.

"I am."

His gaze is searching. Is it a figment of his drunken imagination or, is Arthit real?

"I - You are..." Kongphob opens and shuts his mouth several times. His hands ball into fists on his sides. "P'Arthit... " He still doesn't utter the rest of the words.

"Yes, Kong?" Kongphob flinches but he doesn't say anything, staring at Arthit. Arthit sighs. "You will have to say for me to know what you want." He swallows the lump stuck in his throat and takes a step back as Arthit takes a step forward.  Arthit halts his step and takes one step back himself. "You can't wait for me to know if you don't tell me."

"I-" Kongphob's voice cracks a little and he clears his throat and tries again. "I am selfish, P'Arthit." He has always been.

Arthit looks at him perplexed. "Why?"

"And with my selfishness, I had thought I would keep you with me. But, I loved you too much, P'Arthit." Only he knows that how much. "I couldn't keep you with me." Because of his own actions. Arthit takes that step and Kongphob shakes his head. "You didn't deserve all the shit I had thrown at you.'' Kongphob had been horrible to Arthit. ''You had been nothing but good to me but I had just... I didn't deserve you."

"Kongphob, you didn't-"

"My grief.. however much it had been, I had had no right-" There could possibly be no excuse for his behaviour.

"It's okay, Kongphob. It's okay." Arthit sounds placating. 

"No, no. No. It isn't. What I did- What I left you feeling with - you deserved someone much better."

Arthit scowls. "I don't want anyone else." Why don't you?! This. Why do you always say things like this to me? His eyes well up.

"You should." You make me fall in love with you.

"Why? I have no reason to."

Kongphob can't hold back his tears. Arthit stands close to him. Kongphob tries again. "You do."

"Nope." Arthit's voice is so gentle.

"If you talk like that I'll think you still like me." Kongphob hiccups.

"And?"

"P'Arthit!" Kongphob is frustrated. "I didn't want you to be trapped in a relationship you were not happy in. I let you go. You didn't want me now, I let you go. But- but, if you continue this I'll think you want to. That you want me." Kongphob suddenly strides forward and grabs him by his arms. "I don't think I'll be able to let you leave. I can't." He hugs Arthit tightly who puts his hands around him. He can feel both their hearts beating loudly. "I'll want you to stay. I'll want you to stay." Kongphob presses his face against Arthit's neck. His tears seep through Arthit's dress shirt as he can't stop crying. "I'll let you go if you ask, P'Arthit." Kongphob hiccups again. "I can't keep you here with me if you don't want it. I love you too much for that."