Finding Beauty

Chapter 50

~Beauty~

My book bag is heavy on my shoulders as I pull out my keys to unlock the door. My apartment door is gray and steel, blending into the dull hallway color. On top of the tiny peephole is the faded and peeling sticker that reads the apartment number, 312.

The hallway is so narrow compared to the castle's. It feels suffocating. Back over there, especially the last few days, the air felt light. I had enough room to breath. But now it feels like I'm locked in a tiny room and all the air inside is slowly being sucked out while the walls close in. What I thought would be a cozy place to rest turned out not to be what it seemed.

I jam the key in the lock and push the door open, letting it close behind me. As soon as I get inside I drop my stuff on the couch and collapse next to it. I take a deep breath and then let it go, releasing all of the stress from the school work I had to do on top of Grayson's outburst. I don't want to think about any of it. Unfortunately, I can't stop from doing so.

Grayson has feelings for me, really strong feelings for me. How could I have not seen it? He's my best friend. We know everything about each other. Now, looking back at all our memories, it seems so obvious. Maybe I didn't see it because I didn't want to. Maybe I didn't want to confront him about it so I ignored it leaving his feelings for me to manifest until he exploded? What if this is all my fault? What if I created a monster?

"Belle? Is that you?" my mom calls as she walks in from the kitchen. She's still wearing her formal work clothes but her hair is up in a messy bun. "Ah, I thought I heard someone come in." I fake a smile and sit up. She notices something's wrong automatically, a motherly instinct she seemed to have developed while I was away, and takes a seat next to me.

"What's a matter?"

"It's Grayson," I confess. I don't want to beat around the bush. I just want someone to talk to. I want a friend that isn't hiding away in a mansion in the woods or mad at me for not being in love with them. "At the cafe, he said he was in love with me and asked me to prom. I said I didn't feel the same way and he flipped out. He's so upset. It's all my fault."

"Sweetie-" she starts but I barely hear her over my own ramblings.

"In the back of my mind I knew how he felt," I realize. "I should have told him sooner. . ."

"Sweetie," my mother says again. This time is louder and her eyes shine with pity. "This isn't your fault at all. There are somethings that happened while you were gone that you don't know about."

I gulp. That statement sounds really unsettling. "What happened?" I ask not knowing if I want the answer. I've had enough shocking events to last a lifetime.

"Grayson has had multiple...'flip outs' while you were gone. A few months ago, at rehab, he called me and said a bunch of terrible things. He got into various fights at school and had a psychotic episode just a few days before you returned." I close my eyes, trying to process her words. It sounds like she's speaking about an entirely different person. I wouldn't believe her if what happened today never occurred. "Belle, this didn't happen overnight."

I bite my lip, feeling nauseous. My best friend has been spiraling into a world of darkness for a long while now. He transformed into someone else completely, someone unrecognizable. Is Grayson, the boy I know, anywhere in there at all? The thought of losing him to is too much to handle.

There had to have been something I could've done differently to have stopped this.

"Maybe if I had told him I didn't feel the same way before I was taken. Then he would have been fine. He would have gotten over me and-"