Intrusive

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Fumbling through the contents of my bag, I felt as though the pain and anxiety were alleviated from me as I took my seat on the fallen log.

It had taken me a long time to push out those intrusive thoughts, but all I had to do was put my faith into my greater being.

I trusted Him with all my life.

I know this might not make any sense, but please hear me out.

I have a large influx of emotions. Sometimes I find that they never leave me, and other times I feel as though they leave as quickly as they come. I don't understand why I go through this, but I just do. I have come to accept it, for there isn't much else that I can do.

I pulled out the contents of my bag, grabbing my studies and placing them on my lap as I zipped up my backpack. The sound of the zipper echoed awkwardly throughout the clearing, causing me to shudder.

Many times, I had been unable to focus as I sat down with my materials. I would set aside an entire day, only to find that I was struggling to analyze the text with an open mind.

Other days, I couldn't be taken away from my studies even if I wanted to. I would lock myself in my room for hours, refusing to acknowledge society as I became enveloped into a better world. I would get comfortable wherever I chose to sit, the thickness of the pages towering on my left as the time passed by.

I opened the front cover of my studies, inhaling deeply as I grabbed my writing utensils. The breeze was blowing gently, my hair tickling my cheeks as I leaned back on the fallen log.

Tonight would be a night where I couldn't be taken away.