Hi, I'm Hayley

19/02/2017

Maisy told me something cool today, she said that she knows someone who likes the same bands as me! And she might be able to give me their number! Finally I can have an emo (ish) friend to cry about March 22nd with.

I nearly screamed at school today in the middle of class because I was listening to my Spotify playlist and Migraine by TØP had just finished and I was feeling pretty okay...then, as it always does, Welcome To The Black Parade came on. I MADE THE STRANGEST SOUND AND THE TEACHER LOOKED AT ME FUNNY BUT DISMISSED IT BECAUSE HE'S USED TO MY WEIRD BEHAVIOUR.

I heard something else about that company, just the name, no information. I'm pretty curious about it to be honest.

I keep getting super anxious about coming out, I mean I've kept it a secret for nearly three years. I know that most of my friends would be at least understanding, but what if they aren't? Like what if they're all homophobic assholes? I don't wanna lose more friends...yeah fuck that, I'm not telling them for a while. I don't know why I feel like I have to tell them so badly, I just want to stop bottling up my emotions because it's messing me up and making me even more anxious than usual.

I had a pretty messed up nightmare last night, there were these guys dressed in masks and white hazmat suits, and they were filling this building I was in with gas that turned anyone who breathed it in into a black and white human, like those old photos, and I was trying to get myself out of there. I could hear someone yelling my name, and I think I was trying to run to them, but there was someone else I was pulling with me, but I can't remember much about that part. I think I had the nightmare because I heard that thing about B.L.I. So yeah, pretty weird.

-Hayley