Harry Styles Imagines

54. Hold On For Me [Personal]

This is for ForYourEyesHarry. I really hope you like it ♡

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We fought. That's all we'd been doing lately. Not only the I am angry because you didn't do the dishes-kind of fights, but also the worse ones, the I want to divorce-kind of fights.

Every time those words left his mouth, or the thought crossed your mind, it hurt. It hurt like never before. It shattered my heart into a million pieces, broke me down, and left me to feel hollow inside. Because even after all the arguing, the calling each other names, and the slamming doors, I still loved him as much as I did when we were both still kids and didn't know the tiniest thing about love.

A silent whimper escaped my trembling lips. Hot tears streamed down my cheeks. My entire face was most definitely red and blotchy and swollen from all the crying sessions. I wanted to fall apart, let the exhaustion take over, and not feel this incredible pain anymore.

I toyed around with the sparkly, silver ring around my finger, sliding it off and on, as salty tears ran over my cheeks, and made their way onto the wooden dining table. The exact wooden table Harry had carried through the front door when we first moved in here together. The thought made me choke back another sob. It felt hard to breathe, like an enormous weight was pressed down against my chest and blocked me from taking in deep breaths.

Harry had once again disappeared in the bedroom, and I hadn't seen him for over an hour, since the dreaded fight had ended. The silence of the kitchen engulfed my entire being. It was nice to be left alone for once, to be able to think without my husband's piercing green eyes staring at me, analyzing me, judging me. Yet the silence also left me with my thoughts.

The fight kept playing in my head, over and over again, until I couldn't bear to hear his soft whisper say the heart shattering words: "You just don't understand, Eileen. You never will. And that's where it goes wrong with us."

With no success, I tried to inhale deeply again, but the air got stuck in my throat upon realizing this could be the final straw. 4 years of marriage, and 10 years of knowing one another could end today. 10 years down the drain just because of one fight. And God did that hurt.

A line appeared between my brows while thinking about it. I had promised myself that when I got married, it would only be once. I had promised myself I would choose well, and wisely. Harry had been the perfect choice, then and now, but sometimes things just collided with one another, and even if I tried my hardest, I couldn't stop that from happening.

A deep sigh sounded from my lips, and I shut my eyes as I tried to block out the pain. This wasn't it, this couldn't be it. I couldn't just let it end here.

The sudden breathing from behind me made me look up from my wedding ring. Harry's eyes were pointed to the ground, not daring to meet mine. Although his hair was growing longer each day I could still figure out the red marks under his eyes. I almost heard my heart break right then, the cracks sounding loud and clear throughout my body.

He cleared his throat, still not looking up. "I'm going for a walk, thought you may wanna know where I was." Even his voice sounded broken.

He didn't see the way my eyes shut again upon knowing he still cared about me so much after everything. He didn't hear how I softly whispered and begged for him to stay safe. Because even after the worst fight known in this marriage, we still loved each other.

Several hours later the crying still hadn't stopped. My legs were curled up against my chest, and I hugged them close. Maybe the smaller I made myself, the less it would hurt.