Rags & Riches

Twenty Onë

Seven years old
"Daddy m—

"Courtney."

"Father ... my candles are burning out!"

I waited patiently for father to enter the kitchen but with every second passing I knew he wouldn't join me in my celebration.

I looked down at the cake I baked for myself and sat it down on the table Grandma Willow and I used to do everything on.

I looked at the window, expecting cars to drive into my gate and two heads to enter the house and sit with me.

But all I saw was a reflection of an independent girl who was now seven.

I blew out the candles, wishing another year for something new, something different.

      ...............................................................

ten years old
"Come on Courtney, make a wish and blow out your candles!"

I smiled as Grandma Willow and my other servants circled around me and my cake.

I sat down in my chair, gazing at a cake full of candles as it sat on the wooden kitchen table.

I wasn't allowed to talk to the servants, for they were here to clean after me not become bestfriends with me.

But growing up, Grandma Willow, was always there whenever I needed someone to talk to.

Father was out on business trips, and Mother was out with her group of friends.

"Make a wish my love," Grandma Willow said resting her hand on my shoulder.

I didn't know what I'd do without her, though she wasn't blood, she was my everything.

I smiled and blew out the flames, "I already have what I want Grandma, what more can I ask for?"

Fourteen Years Old
After Grandma Willow passed away the house grew quieter and quieter.

The enjoyable moments where we'd chase each other throughout  the halls when my parents weren't home—gone.

Coming home with an exciting day to share— gone.

Valuable life lessons — gone.

I was completely alone when my bestfriend had died weeks after I turned fourteen.

I had nobody to complain to.
Nobody to ask for advice.
And nobody to love.

I was an independent child, stable with or without a companion. And as time went on I begun to manage. I was fine with it.

Now
I looked at Duncan as we sat in the car, he didn't answer my question, instead he looked out the window and sat there frozen in thought I assumed.

"Should we really do this?" I repeated.

"Why are you so negative about everything?" He asked confidently.

"Shouldn't I say that to you?" I asked back. He rolled his eyes and looked at me with those blue eyes that made you feel as if you were lost at sea. Then he gave a huge sigh and looked back out the window.

"Come on I'll take you home." We pulled up to his house and silently opened the doors of the car to let ourselves out.

"Are you planning on ignoring my question or did you not hear me the first two times?" I continued now agitating him.

"I don't know Courtney, I don't know what we should do." I looked at him in disbelief. No fighting, no arguments, no, 'of course we should,' just a sad ass reply. I spent seventeen years on my own, and every time I was the slightest of bit happy, something always ruined it.

"What does that mean?" I asked softly, shaking. He turned to face me and froze as he begun to wipe my face of the tears that started to form uncontrollably.

"For fucks sakes Courtney, look at me, look at how I act," he said angrily. I looked down trying my best to hide my face from him. "I screamed at you for having coffee with a guy when I don't even own you." He said softly. "You deserve more than some guy with issues he can't seem to solve."

"I deserve—" I looked up at him angrily. "What gives you the right to tell me what I deserve Duncan?" I asked coldly.

"Courtney, you deserve to be happy, and I can't make you happy clearly." He said wiping my tear away. "Your mother wants you to be with a guy that can provide for you, someone you can spend your life with, not a guy who gambles and fights his way out of risky situations," he said referring back to the night we first met.

"Shut up," I said hysterically.
"Listen Courtney—"
"Shut up! Shut up Duncan!" I shouted. "You're right, I do deserve to be happy, and making my mother's dreams come true doesn't make me happy unless the person I spend my life with is you," I said bluntly. "Because for some fucking reason Duncan, I love you. And call me crazy but why wouldn't I want to be with the person I love?"

He looked at me in shock. Even I would do the same, for months, I've been harboring this fact in my head, wondering whether or not I did love him but the first time we had to say goodbye to each other, those two months, I realized, I didn't want to lose him.

"You.. you can't love me Courtney," he said softly." I looked up at him in silence, wondering, why, why is he acting like this all of a sudden. "You need to love somebody who deserves your love."

"For gods sake Duncan what are you so afraid of?!" I shouted. Our bickering probably gave his neighbors a show at this point. He put his helmet on and gave me mine, indicating that it was time to take me home.

"I'm taking you home." He said coldly.
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😣 yea I have nothing to say for this chapter toodles.