Balloon Animals (Girl Power Series)

Chapter 18 - Supervised Visit

Tony sings together with the radio and I look outside trying to entertain myself. I was feeling so nervous that I asked him to give me a ride to the social services offices.

"Here," he hands me a pack of tissues.

"I'm not crying. What do I need this for?"

"Don't be stupid. It's for your hands. You have been rubbing them on those jeans since we left the house."

I look at my hands and see they have a blueish tint from my pants. The color reminds me of Tania.

Something is developing between us and I'm having trouble figuring out what to do about it. When we are together, the rest of the world ceases to exist and everything seems possible. I've been stealing kisses from her at any chance I get, and she initiated a heavy make out session at the storage shed that left me with a bump at the back of my head when the table under us broke.

Then the moment I come home, reality hits me. My daughter, the custody battle, my past; it all comes together and makes me doubt if I'm ready for a relationship. I'm also so scared about what the future could bring. Not only about Tania's reaction about my past, but because I've never been in love. I can only describe my past relationships as strong attractions with a large dose of caring, but not the way I feel about Tania. This time it's different.

"I have a bottle of hand disinfectant in the glove compartment. It should help with the stains."

I hear him, but my thoughts are far away and specifically on how Tania's lips feel on mine.

"Are you even listening?"

I look at Tony and give him a smile. We arrive at a stop light and he stares at me. His eyes widen and he grins.

"What?" I ask.

"You are hiding something, and it's a good something."

"I'm not," I shrug, but have trouble removing my smile.

"You had sex!"

"God no, Tony! Is that the only thing you can think about?"

"Fifty percent of my work time I'm surrounded by naked people doing it," he laughs. "I can't shake it off so easily. Then what is it?"

"It's nothing," I shrug again.

"And I bet that nothing is your boss."

I try to keep my chill as best as I can. If I tell Tony about what has been happening since last week he will grill me.

"This is the place," I point to the building to our right. Saved by the bell... or the navigation system.

We park and then I notice Stephen, Mason and our lawyer having a chat near the entrance. I assumed the lawyer would be present, but not the others.

"What are you guys doing here?" I ask as I greet them.

"A bit of moral support," Stephen begins. "We won't meddle in the visit, but wanted to make sure everything goes well. This one here only wanted to see if your boss came with you," he points at my half-brother.

I give Stephen a small awkward hug  while I glare at Mason, who blushes and looks at his phone. Stephen smiles brightly as we separate and his eyes shine with a few tears. This is all happening because of his help. We aren't yet at the point where I feel ready to call him my father, but I'm grateful for what he's done for me.

We head inside together, and find Tessa and a woman in a suit, that I assume is her lawyer, sitting inside. Their heads are close and they whisper. The moment Tessa sees me, her face hardens. If she has trashed me with the people around, it is all falling to pieces. My work experience with Tania has taught me to dress to match the party. So here I am, dressed for the father part in a navy cardigan, a white shirt and dark blue jeans. Besides the tattoo on my hand, nothing about my appearance will make anyone believe that I'm the obscene monster she has described. Her lawyer looks up and down at me, and gives me a flirty smile. I hold on to the dignity I have left and ignore it. Nothing will keep my mind from my goal.