Balloon Animals (Girl Power Series)

Chapter 23 - Losing You

I thought I felt ready for whatever it was that Devin had to say. We all have stuff from our past that we find embarrassing or are not willing to share easily. But why would he hide from me that he has a child? Me of all people!

"Tania..." Devin places a hand on my shoulder that I shake off.

He has followed me outside, and I have a million unpleasant feelings running through me. I want to slap him or worse so I hold my fists to my sides. 

"Am I only a temporary fix? Only in your life until a better option comes?"

"Why on earth do you think that?" he places his palms on his temples.

"Maybe it is my problem. I started seeing us as something we are not, a happy childless couple. You know how it feels to have kids, maybe you want more. I can't give you that."

"I never said anything like that," he looks frustrated.

"That is exactly the problem! You say nothing! Nothing! It's frustrating to be around someone who you barely know anything about!"

Devin looks uncomfortable as the people on the sidewalk stare at us.

"You don't trust me," I look for my car keys in my bag. "That must be it. You thought I would fire you if I found out. Who do you think I am? I'm not a heartless person. Fuck, Devin! You should know me well enough by now!"

"I trust you, it's that-"

"What? When were you planning to tell me? The day we marry and she comes to the wedding? And then I find I'm a step mom?"

"Marry?" Devin looks at me puzzled.

"Am I not good enough to marry you either?" my voice goes up a pitch.

"Jesus, Tania! Calm down! I can't get a word through!"

My head hurts, a mix of all the news mixed with a bad night of sleep. The events at the party kept replaying in my dreams.

My cousin and aunts cooked the ambush between them and brought my mom only as a witness. That was evident in her face. She didn't know what was going on. I was frozen to my spot and all eyes were on me, expecting me to say anything, break down in tears or run out of the room.

"He did porn, so what?" I shrugged. I wasn't going to agree with them.

"Is that it Tania? Have you given up?" my cousin said. "You are over 30 and you get together with the first piece of trash that crosses your way? Are you also a part of his dirty habits?"

I was about to open my mouth in protest, when someone answered for me.

"Wait a moment! You come to my house and assault Tania's friend with your questions and then humiliate him in front of everyone!" my mom yells at her. "You of all people shouldn't talk about others with four kids from different fathers."

The crowd gasped and began to talk. My cousin became furious and smacked the head of her son who was sniggering, the one who was sneaky enough to find out the truth about Devin, and left. The other kids looked at the scene with big eyes and open mouths.

"Who else wants me to dish out their dirt?" Mom looked around the room in a menacing way, and stopped by my aunts. "I see. You are all cowards! It's easier to judge others than yourselves. I'm no saint, but next to you all, I have a secured piece of heaven."

I felt shocked as I've never seen my mom go against the family like that. Ricky's grin was so big I was afraid his face was going to split. My brother Joey didn't even bother to find out what was happening and kept his eyes glued to the TV. Dad signaled the musical group to continue playing while Mom held my hand and brought me to her bedroom.