➕ Beauty ➕

Innocence

At times my brain hurts like hell, sometimes it's my body, even more times its both.

My first waking moment of the day. And already I chose to wipe on the grungiest tee I could find. I pass by the mirror and I can actually focus. "Oh my gosh. 2000's became extinct years ago. 'Whatever, just chillax. That's hot.' Yeah, I'm not taking that chance." I look at myself again. " Why would I care? I'll just say I'm giving a fashion statement." The shirt was for a band Paramore from their super famous Riot! era, it had the word 'riot' written all over it in a scrambled mess.

_________

As I sit on the desk I just keep remembering: "Make a friend, socialise. Remember, your sister faked it till she made it." My mom kept repeating this same phrase over-and-over to me weeks before this day would come. Usually I sat there silent, soon enough she stopped.

First day, first desk, first chair that I sat on, and first roll-call in this school. And alas my mind has wondered once again on other things in life... like girls. Seriously ducking (yes, ducking) girls — saying ducking makes me sound dumb, which lowers the expectation of my teachers.

I knew what it was that was distracting me. -er, who it was.

Sitting at the corner of my eye, reading a book bored but filled with so much character. Something about this girl gets to me in a particular way. She interests me.

My mind is already thinking up ways my future with her will turn out. I'll be staying home watching the children as she gets home from work and I hope she'll complement me on my hair that I spent almost an hour on.

Yeah I know... I really gotta stop watching so many sitcoms. There really is no use thinking so brightly on an unrealistic, cheesy fu-

"John." I hear my teacher say, snapping me back into reality.

"Uh, yes?" I answered.

She had a grin on her face, my teacher could tell I was already in space and almost to the moon. "Good morning!" She said, ticking the paper. "You definitely look 'cray cray' today." She said looking at my shirt.

I looked at my shirt. The whole class looked at my shirt. She looked at my shirt.

'Damn, I might as well have died, and this first hour could have gone a lot better.' I quickly tell myself. Although I probably believed it, my thoughts are always so dramaticised that they're always too far from really anything.

The guy sitting next to me leaned over, whispered to me. "Yo, I love that band. What's your fave song of theirs?"

"I friggin love Part II it's so intense, don't ya think?" I replied.

"Fo shizzle! Mine is Let The Flames Begin."

"Damn, yes!"

The teacher looked at us like she's giving a "seriously?" Look.

"What? It's Paramore for Christ's sake!" He spoke out to the entire class.

"Sit down Jake." She said rolling her eyes playfully.

Holding his laughter, he rests his butt back on the stool and silently sent me a two finger salute.

"Alright, back to the roll, now... Gemma."

"Yes..." And yeah, it was the girl.

'Ahh, so that's the girl's name. Gemma, I like it!' I thought to myself.

My thoughts continue to boil around for this 'Gemma' girl.

Soon enough my brain began to ache from the intense scenarios it's picking up. I can just see it, her and me, in the perfect environment. Meeting. Greeting. Contact. Touch. Living. Eternity.

I couldn't hold my head up further, the soreness succumbed from the stem of my brain straight into my frontal lobe and finds contact to the other lobes. My elbows out stretched right away from me with my fingers grasping the sides of my forehead, my elbows land straight on the wood making a blunt noise. Each finger tries its hardest of massage sections of my scalp as my brain continues as if it can't tell the rest of the body is in pain. The whole day passed with my body cramped for hours and my mind making a lifetime off a second.  In time I found my footing and balance.

I take a deep breather from my nauseating dizziness long gone. I stepped back onto earth and realise, for all I been through. It was only five seconds.