➕ Beauty ➕

Spark

"It's so beautiful..." Gemma says holding her fist in a grasp.

Silence fills the air as I pick it up. I smile taking it in position... I angle myself to make a better position as I slip on her ring... and I don't even realise I am on the floor, kneeling on one knee. Her fingers stretch out... and slowly I hear an orchestra of birds and crickets in tune to the slow winds. I slip the diamond ring into her ring finger, glistening itself on the blue moonlight. I place myself back on the bench. Gemma gives me a great big hug before... not letting go...

Our bodies are swerved, angled to each other. An intense white gleam in the starlight says everything. A soft fog forms around us. The sky, filled with dark blues and soft hues. The highlights in her hair, the shadows beneath her shoulders. My heart twirls from the beauty. Lovely face, it's filled with living and soft grace.

My breath is taken away by the circumstances that it took for us both to be together in this exact moment. The amount of time we've known each other wasn't even as substantial with someone I met in kindergarten, but still the quality moments we spent fighting and trying to find a way to get things better proves to be more substantial than those I met back then... I guess I had never felt like this with anyone else before now.

In the air, a musky dream cloud surrounds my mind, I remember. I remember myself last year, those silly thoughts about people being exactly as they seem on the outside just seems to dissolve, dissolve farther and faster than the morning dew. I remember, those childish feelings about superiority, again fades out. I'm so glad everything, and absolutely everything happened these past two years. Time and space, thank you; Jake, there's nothing you can't do; Georgia for always staying true; Gemma, for all the messes you put me through. I love every one of you.

The amosphere contorts our bodies. Suddenly, Gemma and I are leaned forward. In our casual ways on a normal day, this moment would be non-existent. But today, it's special. Our faces are so close. A thought arose. Maybe this is happening because of the drinks, maybe some of the smokes, maybe she hadn't had a release in a while. But it's time for me to start taking chances, my head's been in the wrong axis for too long. There's nothing I can loose, I know what I choose. And I don't want to wait.

I take Gemma by the waist and like nothing, we're the strongest magnets in the world. Her head is a meteorite and mine is the earth, we come crashing down, but it feels like I'm on fire. We collide with two unstoppable forces, and we take the weight. Her lips come in contact to mine. They're soft, softer than I could have ever imagined. Her face already in a relaxed posture, but I can tell they're hopeful. The tip of her nose slightly pressed against the right side of mine. And in my head I'm drifting; drifting past the waves of time concealing us from running ahead of the present. And I can almost touch Gemma; older, more mature. I can see myself right next to her. Watching the sitcoms of tomorrow, for the children of then; our children. Gemma greeting her dad with a hug; saying 'Daddy! I missed you so much!' Him being unsure of what to do, Gemma sharing her new found milk as she hung up an old drawing. Our marriage where rice would be flung across the mantel, our children spreading the flower petals on which the bride will find her path on, her dad by her arm, Jake by my side. The violins that would play in our sons and daughter's graduation. Growing old in our creaky rocking chairs. Her, pressing the scar on my hands... with me, slowly die in her arms as we share our last kiss... Her tongue opens my mouth's gates and we almost enter into each other, getting glimpses of who we truly are; and it's wonderful. And any second now, I'm entering into heaven.

This electricity she gives me speeds up to my frontal lobe. Then right into my hippocampus having truly ingrained itself to never leave my brain; no matter how 'permanent' a sharpie marker or a tattoo might be, it can't compare to this connection to Gemma and me. This mighty power inflicted to my white matter and grey area starts climbing down to all the nerves in my body. This feeling drenches to the tip of my right hand, whose slowly caressing Gemma's light skin; and to my left, taking hold of her waist. It sends signals to my hips and flourished in a flash, flat on my heels. And before I know it my whole physical being turned numb from all the pain in the world, and everything before it. I can truly understand another person for the thing that they are.

And again, forward visions of what's to come. Her parents finding out. We get married under the bridge. We steal this very bench. And our first-. Boiling from my tongue, A force breaks me through this moment, I try to keep holding on, but I can't handle it, "GAH!" My head retreats, forcing my face to pull away. And quickly my hands catch my head before it collapses.

The sound of Gemma's soft spoken voice shoots out, "Oh God! What's wrong? Ohhh, God!"

I say, "My head- er, my body- uh, both! It hurts!"

"Oh damn no! I-I-I- I can't do this! No, please no!" Gemma's actions take the fastest precaution. Out on her feet and grasping my head (and all its contents) with her arms. I groan from the lack of oxygen entering my lungs. "You'll be okay, I got you. I got you. I got you." She says.

My arms take a hold of her. "Gemma, this really hurts!" My tears couldn't hold itself in, I'm straight on the verge of breaking down. "Gemma, I love you!"

"No, no. Hush." She was stroking my hair like a mother would do. Her face smothered down my hair. Her voice turned hoarse, "Please, I love you." She started to hic. "Please, Please, Please. I love you more than anything." Her tears form a pool in my hair. "I need you..."

I want to stop for her, but I'm helpless. So, so, so helpless.

Gemma whispers, close to my ear. "Please..."

And with the tiniest grasp of reality. I take a deep breath... And another one... I repeat until I get a steady beat.

I pull her closer...

And slower, I hear each puff lasting longer than the last...

She pulls me closer...

Afar I see a gigantic blur of white fog...

We can't let go, never...

I see it. A beam of clear light...

Our limbs are numb...

This is exactly the place I want to be in....

Our body connecting...

... When I die...

Me in her arms...

And forever afterwards.......

A silence fills the environment...

Everything around us set slow motion...

Trees rustle in the wind...

A river up ahead takes time to flow...

A bird frozen in the breeze...

I hear Gemma's voice...

"John...?"

All my breathing stops...

She stands still, taking hold of my palm...

I sit still, holding her's...

We're no longer with a layer between us. It's just us...

Her body frozen. not in time, but in this space...

I look up, seeing the sky slowly turning purple once again...

A flash of lights twist around my corneas, and I spot a glimpse of a faint green sun...

I hear a whimper from miles away... I can't tell if it's from shock or amazement...

"...John...?"

I hear a drop of water from right next to me...

I don't know if I had turned warm, or become stone cold...

For the farthest I can go, I reach out...

I kissed her tummy.