Forced Vows

Gunshots, tea and polite society

Hazel's pov

I wished Jacob looked like Evelyn. Maybe it would be easier to forgive him. But the main reason I wished that Jacob did not look like Jacob was that if I was going to the cafe to make Evelyn jealous  (was that what I was trying to do?) then it wouldn't make a very dramatic point. I could just imagine myself laughing at Evelyns face like : 'hahaha!  See Evelyn I can do so much better than you! Be awed at what you had even if it was fake!  I can be with anyone!' I pictured myself revealing Jacob to Evelyn and scowled 'even with a piece of garbage that looks like someone a dog chewed up and farted upon' . Like I said. It wouldn't make a very good point. Evelyn was leagues above of Jacob in the looks department. And Jacob had an almost nasally posh voice. The type of face that looks like it's judging and sneering at every living (and non living) thing on earth. How did I ever come to look at that face with anything but disgust?
Mayhap I was exaggerating. But the image my mind had conjured up did not disappear  at that thought.

But all that was beside the point. My brain liked ignoring the biggest problem at hand and focusing on something else. Similarly, I was at my most productive when I had something more important to do. Truth be told, I had no idea why I wanted to see Jacob. Whenever I thought of him, the image of him sucking the life out of my friend came to mind. Maybe it was a good thing I hadn't married him. In fact, I would rather be with someone who had married him as part of his job....like...he who must not be named. 

Stop it brain. Why are you never on my side? Why must the man I am supposed to be imagening burning at the stake so damn handsome? Why, when I picture his face, must I remember the look of concern on his face? Why not remember the hateful look he gave me on the first day of our faker than Jacob's nose marriage? I felt like singing a sad song to let my feelings lose. But doing that on a busy street was probably not a good idea. At all. 

I didn't realise I had reached the cafe until I walked into the glass door. Cursing venomously, I pulled at the door. Of course (because the world was obviously against me) the door was a 'push to open the door' kind of door . I must have stayed at the door for a few minutes at the least trying to pull it open before I decided to push instead. I ignored everyone's stares as I made my way inside. 

It didn't take me long to spot Jacob. He was leaning casually on his chair with an odd look in his eyes. His eyes met mine and he gave me a smile. Ok fine. The image I had in my mind was not of the man sitting in front of me. No wonder  younger naive, loveless, love-craving Hazel had fallen head over heals over someone who had given her the slightest bit of attention. 

I saw my reflections in the mirror on the wall and realised I had a demented half snarl on my face. T'was a proud moment. I looked adequetely hateful and unbothered by his objectively good looks (which were still leagues beneath Evelyn's).

"You look beautiful as always," Jacob murmured. 

AH yes, he always murmured things in  (what he thought was) a mysterious silky tone. 

"Jack," I nodded, and sat opposite him. 

He gave me a blank look in reply. 

"Pardon me, I meant Jacquline" I blinked innocently and snapped my fingers "Jake? Jam? wait no no, I remember? Cheating garbage! that was it! Jarbage!" I sniggered to myself, That was very creative brain. Well done. 

"Hazel this is no time to be childish," Jacob snapped, not looking amused. He leaned forward (and I leaned back) "I can see that you are not happy in this relationship. I could give you so much more than that man! He is a liar I can see!"

How dare he call Evelyn a liar! Evelyn was...ok Eveleyn was a liar. 

"How can you tell? Do liars have a way of spotting other liars? Do you all smell and look like garbage?" I snapped sitting up straight. "And how do you know I'm not happy?"