Why? A Shawn Mendes fanfiction

Chapter 8

Skylars POV

I woke up with my hair wet from my soaking wet pillow. Thank god it is Saturday because I can not face school right now. I check my phone hoping for a text or something from Shawn.

I thought about it after he left last night, he said I need to think of the future and make it even better where I can't get hurt. And I'm thinking about the future. And that scares me to wonder what can happen but my mom always said you have to take risks. And I haven't done that in awhile, all I've been doing is just waiting.

Waiting for that perfect moment to open up. And to live my life without feeling like I'm locked in my room. I want to do it with someone.

It's Saturday morning and last week I planned to go over to Carly's house. We aren't really on good standards right now. I basically called her a fuck girl that wants to hook up with everyone in the school. Even the teachers.

It's true though, she goes out to clubs with her fake ID that she got and gets drunk, and the next morning she wakes up with a guy next to her, and it just repeats almost every other weekend.

I want to call her and just say I'm sorry and I didn't mean it. Thy was a bad day.

I dialed Carly's number hoping that she would pick up. She's the person that when she's mad, she just ignores and shuts everyone out in her life. Luckily she answers.

"Hello" she says, the sound of her voice makes me smile. We've been best friends since we were little and being away from her and not talking to her at all. Even for a day, it just feels like she's all the way across the globe.

"Hi Carly" I say "oh, hey. What's up?" she asks. I guess her 'ignoring stage' is over. "I just wanted to say I'm sorry for yesterday. You know I didn't mean it, and I was hoping that we could still hang out today. Ya know, like our plans?" I sniffle still feeling sorry. Almost every Friday/Saturday I'm over at her house. It's almost like a tradition.

"Oh, It's fine really, about what you said on Friday. But I can't today, I'm going over to Lily's house" she says, lily is a gorgeous brown haired girl from our school. She's very nice, I just wish I could hang out with Carly today. I wasn't jealous that Carly made a new friend recently, it just bugs me when we had these plans to go shopping for homecoming next weekend for a while.

"Oh ok. That's fine, I'll talk to you later. Love you!" I say not trying to sound like I'm a little bummed. I thought I would just go shopping by myself then.

I look in the mirror and almost scream. My hair is in like all directions and weird wavy parts. I try brushing out all the knots but my brush just gets stuck. "Ew" I murmur. I take off my sweatpants and big T-shirt and get in the shower.

The shower is the only place where I can let out anything. Sadness, happiness, I even try to sing sometimes, I like to think that I can sing. But I just sound like a dying goose.

I hope out of the shower and put my robe on. Ugh why are robes so hair to get out of. It's like your in a cloud.

After 30 minutes I finally decide to get out of my comfy fluffy red robe. I blow dry my hair and put on some leggings, a big sweatshirt that says 'Toronto maple leafs' I love that team. Me and my dad when I was 4 used to go to those games all the time. He would buy me hats, jerseys, I even got a puck signed from one of the players. That's probably one of the only memories I have of him. I don't know why he left. Or where he went but all I know is that I miss him. So much.

I apply a light amount of mascara, eye liner, and concealer and grab my lanyard and walk out the door. Shit. I forgot that my mom had to work this morning. And we only have one car. As I'm standing outside about to walk in I hear a boy. "Hey Skylar!" He smiles just about to hop in his Jeep. "Oh hey mendes!" I smile, oh that boy. How come I can never stop smiling when it comes to him.

"Where ya going?" I ask trying not to sound like a stalker. "Oh just got around Pickering, I want to get to know this place. And I also need to go shopping at the mall. Do you know where one is around here" he asks. Oh no. If I say I do I have to go with him. Crap. Even being by him makes my heart skip. "Uh, yeah" shit. "There's one I few miles from here!" I smile again. "Oh, would you mind coming with me. I mean We would be gone long. Unless you have plans I can just use google maps" he says. Crap should I go with him? I mean like he said. We won't be gone long, how bad can my butterfly's in my stomach get?

"Uh, no I have nothing going on. And sure. It'll be fun to show you around town" I say and walk to his Jeep and hop in the passenger side as he gets in the drivers seat.

"Would you like to listen to some music?" He asks shyly not knowing what to say. "Uh, yeah sure." I say awkwardly. Dammit Skylar why are you so dumb. He turn on his pandora and a song comes on that I don't know. I check his phone and see it's called 'use somebody' by Kong's of Leon. "I love this song" he calmly says. As almost the music is possessing him and taking over. Hey, what can I say music is very powerful to some people. And I can tell that it is very important to him.

"Yeah it's good" I listen to the lyrics carefully. And there we are. Driving down the street with nothing in the world to worry about.

I hope that we can become great friends in the future. He's seems very kind and sweet and has a wonderful nice family. Like I said, I need more friends.

By why does my stomach turn, and get more butterflies when I hear the word friend in my mind. I mean I don't like him or anything.

But that's not what my heart is telling me. And that's the only thing that scares me. I can't screw this up again.

AGAIN HELLOOOO! I thought I wander going to update today. But I thought that I should because it will probably be another week or two until I update. I'm sorry. I'm going on vacation tomorrow (yay 21 hour drive 😵) and once I get back I have to get 'stitches😏' in my knee. Well thankyouuuuu for 185 reads! I honestly thought this book was going to get like 7😂 (p.s shoutout to my bestie lily. She's based off of Carly's new friend go read her book it's AMAZING laholes )
Happy reading!
Peace✌🏻
1241 words