It had been 5 months since Harley died. Joker hadn't been himself. He didn't laugh anymore. He sat in his office all day almost everyday.
Joker walked up to their bedroom. He hadn't been in there since he watched Harley fall asleep for the last time. All he could picture when ever he closed his eyes was her breathing shallow and feeling her heartbeat slow. He opened the bedroom door and looked at the bed. It still had the bedsheets it did when Harley passed. He climbed into bed and pulled Harley's pillow into him. He saw the photo stood next to the bed. The one of them both that Harley had asked for when she got ill. He felt his stomach sink as he looked at her smile. A weak smile found its way to his cheeks and he felt his heart sink at how much he missed her. He needed to see her again, hold her again and laugh with her again. Joker squeezed the pillow tighter and began to cry into it. His tears soaked the pillow. He would give anything to have her back.
"Puddin." He sat up as soon as he heard Harley's voice. It was like a sweet melody to him.
"Harley." He said quietly. There was no answer.
"Harley?" He said louder. "Harley!" He called but nothing happened.
"Harley!" He shouted as loud as he could. Suddenly frost burst in the door.
"Sir are you ok?" He asked looking rather concerned. Joker stood up and ran his hands through his hair, shaking with tears streaming down his face.
"I want my harley." He cried slumping into the wall and sliding down it. He brought his knees to his chest and sobbed. Another guy tapped frost and handed him a whiskey.
"Drink?" He nodded the tears still rolling down his cheeks. He put his shaking arm out and grabbed the drink nearly downing it in one. He looked up at frost and sighed.
"I'm sorry you have to deal with me like this. I'm surprised I still have half my men. I mean we don't do anything anymore." Frost smiled and sat on the bed.
"Their loyal, and you don't have to apologise." Joker swallowed the last of his drink and gave the empty glass to frost.
"Get me another and tell the boys to get ready. It's chaos time. We will go through the street mugging people, blowing things up just to remind gotham I'm still here." Frost smiled and nodded walking out the room. Joker stood up and looked at the picture.
"This is for you harl." He smiled and walked out the door.
He held his pistol up in the living room surrounded by men.
"For Harley!" He cheered and they all cheered back before marching out the door towards the city centre.
Guns fired, people were screaming and the bat signal was in the air. Everything was going amazing. Joker laughed and looked to his right. He looked into a shop window where he saw a black dress with three red diamonds on the side. The smile fell from his face and he froze. He aimed his gun at the window and shot it. How dare they use her to make profit. He felt his blood boil and he stormed home.
He burst through the door and slammed it behind him. The house was empty his men still out causing havoc. He walked into the kitchen and grabbed the whiskey. He took a big swig of the bottle before slamming it on the side. He walked into his office and grabbed his pistol and a picture of him and Harley.
He sat by the river a bottle of whiskey in one hand, the picture in the other and the pistol in front of him. He had drunk almost all of the bottle. He kissed Harleys picture, loaded the gun and raised it to his chin.
"I love you Harley. I can't wait to be with you again. I'm sorry I couldn't live without you." He began to squeeze the trigger slowly.
"Puddin. Don't." He heard Harley's voice echo.
"I'll always be here. You don't need to do it." Joker let his tears stream down his cheeks as he put the gun down.
"I need you harls. I can't do this without you." Joker could feel her hand on his. He opened his eyes but she wasn't there. He clutched the picture to his chest.
"I'll always be here Puddin. Always." Her voice echoed. He closed his eyes and pictured Harley's face. Soft and gentle with love in her eyes. He knew her voice wasn't real, but it was so comforting. Joker looked up as frost walked up to him. He looked at the gun and the state of his boss and sat down next to him.
"Don't do that. Harley wouldn't want you to do that would she. I mean she would probably just take your mind of it." Frost said and Joker laughed knowing exactly what he meant by that.
"Yeah but she was good at it." Joker added with a chuckle.
"I know... I heard." Frost said smiling before looking at the gun in front of the Joker. J nodded and frost put the gun away.
"You want to know what I miss the most?" Joker said looking into the water.
"I miss her smile. I miss her gorgeous smile."
A weak smile founds it way into his face as he pictured them laughing on the sofa together talking about anything and everything. He pictured Harley's legs over his lap and her head thrown back with laughter a drink in her hand. He took another swig of whiskey and stood up. He stumbled into frost who stood up just in time catch him. Joker stabled himself before beginning the walk home.
He got in the front door to see all his men stood in front of something.
"What are you hiding?" Frost walked in and shut the door.
"We found loads of old videos of Harley... just watch." Joker slumped in the sofa and looked up at the huge screen in front of him. One of the men pressed play and Harley appears on the screen.
"I'm gonna go prank Mr J." She said at the camera before putting whipped cream in her hand. She must of put her phone in her pocket so the camera was sticking out. She knocked on the office door and opened it slowly. Joker hid behind the door cream in his hand because he had heard Harley talking about it in the kitchen. Harley screamed as Joker watched himself jump from behind the door and smack cream in her face. He stood there laughing and Harley smacked him the face sending cream everywhere. The video ended with them both laughing and attacking each other with cream. The next video was a video of frost finding them both asleep on the sofa Harley wrapped in his arms the tv still on. There were about 20 other videos. Joker was laughing along with his men at the video of Harley trying to walk in ridiculously high shoes made to be slightly like stilts. Then there was a video of Harley and Joker dancing to ed Sheehan perfect. He smiled weakly at the memory. It's was moments after this that joker gave Harley bud and Lou.
Time went by and joker never found his smile again. Occasionally he would chuckle or have a weak smile at a memory of Harley but nothing else. Joker drank and drank. He tried everything to move on but he couldn't.
It was five years after Harley went and nothing had changed. He watched the video montage almost everyday, he felt so numb.
"I lasted five years. I can't do it any longer." Joker said to the video playing in the background. He looked at Harley's smile and put the pills in his hand, he heard Harley laugh and picked up his water. As soon as them dancing came on he swallowed every last one. He began to cry as he lay down next to the picture of them both. He kissed her forehead and closed his eyes.
"I love you." He whispered with his last breath
