Infernio Academy 1: Touch of Hell

Chapter 17: The act of aggression

⪼ S A P P H I R E

I awoke to soft sheets. My eyes were still adjusting. I blink then I close then I blink again. Idinilat ko lang ito ng buo nang maramdamang may kasama ako rito at hindi nga ako nagkakamali. 

Sa hindi kalayuan, nakaupo si Silver sa isang monoblock habang nagce-cellphone. Why is he here? But then, I suddenly remembered that I passed out. Siguro siya ang nagdala sa akin rito. So the real question should be: why is he still here? 

"Oh, you're awake." His voice sounded so soft. That's strange. I'm not used to it.

"Yeah." Sinubukan kong bumangon kaya lang kumirot ang ulo ko kaya hindi ko na itinuloy. Tumayo siya at lumapit sa akin nang mapansin iyon. "What happened?" 

"You just killed someone." Now his tone sounded different. Cold. With a hint of warning. 

Nang maalala ko ang nangyari kanina ay wala akong naramdamang kahit ano, hindi ako kinabahan or something. Para bang sanay na akong gawin ang bagay na 'yon which is weird. Siguro kasi para sa akin tama lang ang ginawa ko. Damn, he's high and he tried to kill me, he even brought all the painful memories back by drowning me! 

"Killing is prohibited kaya maghanda ka na sa parusa mo." Mukha ba akong takot maparusahan? I have a deep and acceptable reason so siguro naman hindi mabigat ang parusang maibibigay sa akin. 

Whatever it is, handa akong tanggapin iyon.

"He tried to kill me, inunahan ko lang siya." I buried my head against the pillow and stared at him. "What should I do then? Be kind to him? Just let it slide?" I asked, trying to justify what I did.

He sighed. "Don't think about it for now."

"You're the one who reminded me." 

"Because you asked?" He said, stating the very obvious. Natahimik tuloy ako.

"Oh, right." Napahawak ako sa ulo ko at pumikit. Pagkadilat, nakatitig pa rin siya sa akin. Weird 'cause I don't feel uncomfortable at all. As if his presence is fine with me now. 

I hate to admit this but he's the reason why I'm still alive. I have fear of drowning so I can't do anything a while ago, siguro kung hindi siya dumating malamang patay na ako. I wanted to thank him, but my pride is blocking the way. 

"You have fear of water, right?" Tanong niya sa akin. How did he know that?

"Just drowning." Pagtatama ko at tumango naman siya at iiwas na sana ang tingin sa akin kaso nagsalita akong muli. "I have a little brother before, now he's dead and it's because of me. It's because I failed to save him on that ocean, I only managed to get myself saved." Sumikip bigla ang dibdib ko nang maalala ang pangyayari na 'yon kaya naman huminga muna ako ng malalim. I prevented my tears from falling, but it's suffocating me. 

My heart aches.

"My parents said I'm very selfish, but trust me I don't want any of that to happen. I tried my best to get him out of the water, but I don't know how to swim that time." Napatingin ako kay Silver at nakita kong tahimik lang siya habang nakikinig sa kwento ko.

"Caspien was taken by the waves, hindi na natagpuan ang bangkay niya." 

"It's not your fault." He uttered under his breath. It's clearly visible that he's holding back because he could see how sensitive I am right now. Maybe it's his first time seeing me vulnerable.

"That's why I was so afraid when that shithead drowned me. Naisip ko, gano'n pala ang pakiramdam ni Caspien noong nags-struggle siyang mabuhay." I smiled bitterly. That's why I hate attachments kasi pabaya akong tao. Parang sarili ko lang lagi ang naiisip ko lagi.