Kenzie's POV
My week went from bad to a pile of crap, when my mom told me that I'm going back to real world school. I guess I knew it was coming, but this fast?
I'd only been out of the hospital for what? Like a month! That is way to short.
I cried, screamed, begged, I did all of it but she wouldn't change her decision. "Why would you do this to me?" I ask, breaking the silence during dinner.
It was just us. Maddie went back to college and Greg is at work, like usual. She sighed and dropped her fork on her plate.
"Mackenzie, why don't you want to go?" She asks calmly.
"Because-", I thought for a moment. There wasn't an exact reason, oh wait. Yes there is. "Because I don't want to see certain people and hear what they think about me and my new suicidal act." I finish.
"You can avoid them, and what happened to not caring about what they thought?" Mom questioned.
"Avoiding people isn't as easy as it sounds. And I said that 7 years ago, the last time you dropped me off school." I retort.
"I'm sorry I haven't made time-"
"Oh no worries, it's all forgiven. But when are you going back to work? I know you just can't stay away." I snap.
She was taken back by my sudden burst.
"What happened to you?" She says in a quiet voice.
"I don't know, must be on my period." I joke, rolling my eyes.
"Mackenzie, I'm serious. What happened to my kind, sweet, and loving daughter?"
"She grew up." I spat. "Now, I'll be upstairs if you need me. Gotta get ready for school, right?" I didn't dare to look back as I walk up the stairs.
In all honesty, I didn't even give another thought about having school that night. Instead, I focused on not screaming out pain as I continued to cut.
"One for being a disappointment." I mutter.
"Another for falling for Johnny."
"And one more for being me..." I quietly sob at my last sentence.
I hated feeling his way about myself. But it's not like I could think differently. The cutting was partly for pleasure but mostly for punishment.
I deserve it.
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I didn't get much sleep last night but I didn't care. My mom was gone before I woke up, which led me to think that she didn't give me a goodbye message before leaving.
After all, I am a light sleeper. I didn't think to hard though, like always. It was probably because of our fight last night.
Don't worry mom. I'll make it up to you, I'll be the best daughter ever. You just wait.
I thought. It's true. I wasn't going to cause anymore problems for her. I was going to smile and fool her like I did with the rest of my friends.
It's now 5:43. I swing my legs over the edge if my bed and stand up. I was going to be different today, happier. I'm going to change.
I'm going to be selfish and let myself be happy. For yesterday, is the last day I would cut.
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Deciding to keep it simple, I throw on a white top with one pineapple design and ripped jeans, pairing it with navy blue converse.
(Outfit in media)
Then, I ran down the stairs, grabbing an apple while passing the kitchen, and out the front door.
The walk didn't bother me. It was like a little exercise. I had some time to myself...well before Ruby's car almost crashed into me.
