Three's Company

2.26 | Of Course I Shouldn't

Of Course I Shouldn't

guilt: [gilt]; noun; a feeling of responsibility or remorse for some offense, crime, wrong, etc., whether real or imagined.

It was a difficult situation, in all honesty.

Ethan didn't know how to address it with Nova in school the next day. The night before had been wonderful and something that he had been wanting for months. He felt as if he had made mature decisions leading up to and after everything that happened, and yet when he walked into Psychology the next morning, it was as if a wall had come up and blocked him out.

And yet, despite the way his eyes were being avoided by Nova from across the table, Ethan couldn't help but feel elated. He had finally made his feelings for Nova known. He had stopped lying to himself and just let it happen. And by the way she responded, he had realized that he hadn't been the only one feeling that way.

"Are you alright?" Jessica Anastos whispered to Ethan as Nova stood to get the scratch paper they were supposed to be using. "You're pretty off today."

Ethan looked at her in confusion.

"Since when do you care about me, Anastos? I'm fine."

"I was just checking." Jessica shrugged, leaning back in her seat. "How's Nova?"

"Why don't you ask her?" Ethan replied, "Is your puppy dog sick?"

"My what?"

"Felix? He kind of pines after you like a sad little dog these days, don't you think?"

Jessica's face grew red and she folded her arms, sitting back in her chair in silence.

"Yeah, maybe we don't do personal questions with each other anymore." Ethan suggested, smirking. He wasn't about to divulge the fact that he had essentially cheated on his girlfriend to Jessica Anastos of all people.

"I have the paper." Nova announced as she returned to the table. "You alright, Jess?"

"I'm fine." She snapped, snatching the paper out of Nova's hands. "Let's just get started."

The three worked in relative silence for the rest of the period until the bell rang, upon which Jessica volunteered to turn their paper in at the front of the room. Ethan took a deep breath, ready to say something to Nova with Jessica gone, but he looked up to an empty table.

His gaze turned to the door and he could just barely see Nova's foot disappearing around the corner, leaving him without so much as a goodbye.

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"Our performance is in two days, people! Two days and you still act like we have time to mess around." Mrs. Freedman was more stressed than Nova had ever seen her before, and she was taking her aggression out on everyone around her in the worst ways possible.

"Where do you want us to start from?" An ensemble member asked from behind Nova.

"From the kiss, and then we'll do the final ensemble number." Mrs. Freedman answered, waving her arms in a sign of defeat. "As long as it doesn't completely suck, I won't make you all stay an extra hour."

Everyone started whispering among themselves as they got into position. Nova turned to face Ethan for the upteenth time that afternoon, letting him pull her towards him so they could finish the scene.

She wasn't sure how she felt. The night before had been glorious and something she had wanted for such a long time. But the fact remained that Ethan had a girlfriend, and one with a nasty temper. Nova was absolutely terrified of Scarlet and what she would say in the event of her finding out what had happened. And Nova knew she would end up finding out, because Scarlet seemed to know everything about everyone.

Nova didn't want to be the other woman. She didn't want to be a homewrecker, and yet here she was. She had made her decision, and she had to live with it.

But it didn't mean she had to continue to make that mistake.

"Action!"

Ethan pulled Nova towards him and kissed her, the passion he felt towards her incredibly evident as he did so. Nova returned the kiss, her mind wandering back to the night before, when his lips had been on hers and she had felt as if she were the luckiest girl in the world. She remembered the way his arms felt as he lifted her off the ground. She remembered the way he had held her in his arms and the way his lips had felt on her cheek, on her neck, on her collarbone.

She remembered how she had felt as she watched him walk out to his car an hour later. She remembered the mixture of guilt and elation that had filled her body as she walked back up the stairs to her bedroom and laid down, trying to get some sort of sleep after what had happened.

She remembered waking up the next morning and feeling as if she had made the worst mistake of her life.

But she couldn't think about that while kissing Ethan for the musical. She didn't want to ruin it for the rest of the cast who wanted to go home on time.

So she kissed Ethan with every bit of fake passion she could muster before they broke apart and the final ensemble number began.

The number ended and Mrs. Freedman agreed to let them go home on time. As Nova undressed and put her street clothes back on, the only thing she could think about was getting home and eating whatever dinner her mom or Aunt Ashley had prepared for the family. She wanted to be around family and forget what had happened.

"Nova."

But evidently that wasn't going to happen right away.

Nova turned around to face what she knew had been coming all day.

"I'm not in the mood, Ethan."

"Nova, stop." Ethan caught her arm as she tried to walk away, spinning her back around to face him. "We can't pretend that last night didn't happen. It was amazing, and something I've wanted for so long, and I just--"

"Stop." Nova shook her head. "I can't do this."

"Can't do what?"

"This. Talk to you as if we didn't make a terrible mistake. I'm not a homewrecker. I'm not someone who steals other girl's boyfriends. I'm a good girl who does her homework and stays home and dates good guys. I can't be the reason you cheat on your girlfriend. I'm sorry. I have to go."

And she broke out of Ethan's grip and walked off, slinging her bag over her shoulder and wiping a tear off of her cheek.

She didn't start to really cry until she was safely in her car, but when she let go, it came out in sobs. She had just let go of the one person she thought she truly loved. She had let him go to someone who was an awful person and wasn't right for him. But she had done what she had to do. She had done the right thing.

If only the right thing didn't have to be so terribly difficult.