All My Doubts; Minecraftfinest (MCfinest) FanFiction

CH32: I Do(n't) Want you

I ignored the gradual sound of my name being called, as I kept walking briskly on the concrete.

I clenched my fists, as they lay at my sides, anger rushing through me.

"Camille," Max repeated louder, still trying to catch up to me.

"What the fuck do you want?" I scream, stopping completely and turning around to face him.

"Please hear me out," Max begged, taking another step closer to me.

I cringe at his statement, "I don't want to hear you, and I never want to see you."

"Please," he pleaded, as I spun back around and kept walking.

He rushed over to me, resting a hand on my shoulder.

"Stop talking to me! I don't want to talk to you, okay?" I screamed, swatting his hand from my bare skin.

"I'm done with you and all of your lies, your drama, your friends, your everything," I take a deep breath and continue, "I don't want anything to do with you, not today, not tomorrow, not any day. Just leave me the fuck alone. Forever."

Max sighs, standing behind me frozen, his hands swinging at his sides.

I took a deep breath, ready to continue on my rant. But appearantly I wasn't fast enough. Max bore into my gloomy eyes, gaping. The usual greenish hazel color departed and today they were a sorrowful dark brownish grey.

"Camille I had to," he admits, "I was forced to go to her, she told me she would tell--"

He stops, taking a deep breath and biting his lip.

"She would tell what?" I reply, stopping and watching his frustrated gaze.

"Okay look," Max pauses, "a week before the night of the party, I got drunk and--"

"I get it," I muttered, "but then why leave me that night?"

"Because--I didn't want you finding out, I regretted it, I swear I did. I beat myself up for what I did, so I didn't want you finding out that I had sex with another girl."

Before I said anything, he hushed me, "that girl that you saw with me at the house--she promised she wouldn't say anything if I--well, if I did it again."

I shake my head uneasily, "you could of just told me the first time--"

"I wanted to--I swear!" It escaped his lips coldly, "I just didn't realize how bad it was until after you caught me."

I furrow my eyebrows in disbelief, "what do you expect me to say?"

"I don't expect anything from you, Camille, I just want you to know the truth. I don't like her and I never did; it meant nothing, I swear."

I swallow hard, making sure my emotions don't get the best of me.

The thing is, none of this changes the fact that he still cheated on me. He still slept with some other girl. Everything I do for him every goddamn day of my life supposedly still isn't enough for him.

♡ ♡ ♡

Max leans into me, grabbing my waist and engulfing me into a hug.

"It's all okay now," Max reassures me, his hands his fiddling at my sides.

It's all okay now? Just like that? Just because he told me what happened it was all okay? Nothing was okay. It's still the same Max, he still cheated on me.

I slid slowly out of his arms, cold air rushing to take the place of the prior warmth.

"It's not all okay Max!" I shout quickly, "you can't just come up to me when I'm lonely and expect me to forgive you and fall into your pants."

I was quickly walking out, not letting Max return a word, as I fumbled my purse for my phone.

It was getting late, the heavy and oppositely illuminated sky not helping me in this situation.

And to make things worse, footsteps warned me of Max's fast approach behind me.

"You love reading," he yelled back at me, "you love catching snowflakes on your tongue and swimming in the rain at 1am in the morning. You hate everything about science and biology and you can't stand horror movies. And I still remember when we were in fifth grade together, you spent three weeks babysitting a newborn kitten that wasn't even yours to keep."

I bite my lip, in hopes of stopping my eyes from watering--but he didn't seem to stop talking.

"You're the sweetest person I know and though I know it doesn't always seem like it, but I love talking to you. I've missed you this past week and I know I've done a lot wrong lately, but I promise you it won't happen anymore; please give me another chance, just give me one last try."

I stood there frozen, unsure if everything I had just heard actually happened or if my head made it all up.

I didn't know what to think or what to say. Even worse though, I felt as if I should forgive him. As though he deserved a second chance. My conflicting emotions twisted into a confused bundle of mixed feelings.

"Please say something, anything?" Max sighs quietly, his fists clenching at his sides.

"I think I love you," I blurt out without realizing, quickly regretting my statement while I covered both hands over my mouth.

"I--I mean," I stuttered unaware of if I should take it back or just run in the opposite direction.

Max smiles, relief hovering over him for one last, final time, "I love you too; always have, always will."

I shake my head lightly, easing up the tension, "you're a mess and you've dragged me down with you."

"I'm sorry," he replies raising his eyebrows innocently as he grabs my waist and pecks my forehead gently.

"No you're not, you never are."

Max laughs, "I know."

"No more secrets," I look down at the ground and then back up, my eyes quickly locking with his once more.

"No more secrets," he repeats, subtly acknowledging to what he was promising.

I nodded once more, standing still in his tight grasp around my waist, my head resting on his shoulder.

This time I'd forgive him, I was always the one to forgive him. Every past argument we've had. From forgetting about dates to, now, cheating on me. Still, nothing's changed, and maybe that's a good thing, but maybe, just maybe I want something more.