A Girl Like Her (STUDXSTUD)

Chapter 26.

Ariel

"And that was the end of Jaie and I." I told my therapist, half smiling while looking up at the ceiling. I loved reminiscing about us. The memories that came to mind were always making me feel as if I had butterflies in my stomach.

Jaie and I haven't been talking for a while actually. After all of that happened in the car, she told me that we could never be close again. I was in denial for about a week and tried everything to get her to come back like the hopeless ass dumb ass I am, but nothing worked. Jaie was pressed on letting me go and I've finally decided that it really did need to be done.

Finally clearing everything in my home and phone of every trace of Jaie took so much. It hurt me.. I didn't think she and I would end like that. At all. I thought everything was going to be okay, but obviously nothing was okay.

I was hurt for a while.. over the fact that she chose Chris over me and we'd been through everything for a long ass time. I did any and everything for her but I guess I had my time and my time is up.

As days passed, I felt myself letting go more and coming to terms and being at peace with the fact that Jaie and I will most likely never speak again. That doesn't mean I don't have days where I sit and reminisce and cry but.. I'm okay.

I had finally decided to come to my therapist and tell her everything.. just to get it out of my head. I've been missing Jaie for months, but I've also been working on myself in the process.

Maybe I've finally come to peace with the fact that Jaie is happily moved on and is perfectly fine with life. It's taken some months, but I'm finally doing things on my own.

"Do you feel like you're completely okay without having her in your life?"

"I mean.. I'm not drinking my life away anymore. I'm not going out and being stupid, crying every day, pushing everyone away.. but I can't say that I don't think about her every damn day and I don't feel sadness in my heart when her face pops up or her name. Anywhere. She's my first love and everything.. I can't just let go as much as I wish I could. I don't wanna remember anything.. I don't wanna remember all of this. I don't. Sometimes I wish it never happened. I wish I wasn't with her. But then sometimes I'm glad because I learned from this experience. I know that I can help many other people who are going through the same thing. Some days I'm smiling and laughing, acting like all is good and like without Jaie I'm much better. And some other times I get on my knees and pray to god, asking for him to place her back in my life. I can say I don't need her, but I do. Some things make me happy, yes. But.. that was four whole years of happiness and memories that just float around in my mind."

She nodded and handed me a tissue, noticing that I had tears falling freely from my face. I was crying and didn't even realize. It was a peaceful but sad cry. I miss her, but I'm ready to move on with life and I've accepted that we weren't meant to be.

I should've realized long ago, and honestly I did. But, I held onto what we had left with hopes that we could be something again.

"I think that what you're doing- leaving her alone- is right. Surrounding yourself with the fact that her attention was going to someone else while you waited on her every day wasn't good for you."

"I know that." I began playing with the tissue in my hand and sighed, tilting my head up towards the ceiling while trying not to cry. Honestly? I haven't cried in so long that when I cried a few minutes ago it felt great. I've been pushing the thoughts of Jaie and everything that happened to the back of my mind and trying to cover over it all by staying busy. But really? I never faced my hurt and fixed it.

"I can tell that you aren't fully at peace. When do you personally think you will be?"

"I don't even think I'll ever be fully at peace until I hear an answer from her. I want to know why she left me. Of course she wasn't feeling me anymore obviously, but I want information deeper than that you know? I want to know why after everything she'd always tell me about how perfect I am, why she'd left me. She always repeated that we "have a four year history so why would she leave me"." I looked blankly at the ceiling while chuckling softly.

"When id ask if she was feeling like leaving me for Chris, she'd always promise me she was never leaving. She told me I was too important to leave. She told me she needed me. She even told me that she needed me the last time we were on the phone when I was sitting in my car crying because I had just lied to Chris and told her everything Cam told her was a lie. You don't know how much shit Jaie told me on the phone. She said the most perfect things. She assured me that she'd still be here and keep me around. But guess what? After I sent Chris that message and told her nothing happened, Jaie told me that we couldn't ever be close again and that she needed to be away from me. But that's okay though.. I've accepted that."

"You just need to continue keeping yourself busy and trying to keep thoughts of Jaie out of your mind."

I nodded and wiped at my nose before beginning to softly tap my foot on the floor.

"I'm okay, really. It doesn't hit me much anymore. Just sometimes. I've always wanted Jaie to be happy and as long as she's happy, she can move to a whole other country and never speak to me again."

"If Jaie was here right now what would you tell her?"

"If Jaie was here.. I'd tell her I love her. I'd tell her that not a day goes by that she doesn't cross my mind, and that I pray for her every night and morning and I hope she's happy."

"You wouldn't yell at her or anything?"

"No."

"Why?"

"Because she gave me so many happy moments in just four years that'll last me a lifetime full of memories and I thank her for that."

"You still miss her?"

"Of course. She's my first love. Sometimes it kills me because I wish I knew what she was thinking. I want to know if she misses me. If she still thinks about me.. all of that."

"I'm proud of you. You're still breathing and managing to smile."

I nodded and smiled while tossing the tissue into the trash and standing up. I'm ready to leave. She stood up and hugged me, then opened the door for me.

"Stay strong. I believe in you. You'll find love soon." She smiled, and I nodded while thanking her and walking out. Before I got too far though, I turned around and looked at her one last time.

"Thanks, but I'll never find a girl like her ever again."

-

The End.

-

So, I decided I'll do an epilogue in about a month or so to let y'all in on what happens after all of this and how Ariel is doing. There isn't a story without Jaie and Jaie and I don't speak at all anymore sooo the book is done as of now. Thank you all for your reads and votes. 💓 I appreciate you all. And if anyone is going though this and needs advice or anything, message me. I'm here. 💙

I'll be making more books but probably pure fiction. I'll post one soon. 🤟🏽