Trigger Warning: mentions self harm
Evan POV
(Y/n) and I were much closer now. We went back to the coffee shop and sat and talked for hours about all the times we tried to kill ourselves.
'How many times have you tried?' (Y/n) asks me.
'Just that once.' I tell her. 'What about you?'
'Um?' She counts on her fingers when she had to use both hands I got very nervous. 'I think seven.' She said. 'I tried to drown myself once. I jumped out of my window.'
'Hold on! Of the apartments?' I whisper-yell because we're still in the coffee shop.
'No. When I used to live in a house. My window wasn't high enough. Then I tried to starve myself. After two days my mom took time to the hospital where they tube fed me.'
'What the hell, (Y/n)!'
'Well then I tried to slit my neck twice.' She pointed to two of the many scars on her body. 'Then I tried to overdose on Ativan. Finally I slit my wrists.' She pointed to the deepest cuts on each wrist.
I got out money to pay for our coffee. I payed and walked us out of the shop. As soon as we got away from the shop I gave her a hug.
'(Y/n)! Seven times. Why didn't you tell me. When was the last time?' I asked her not letting go.
She began crying.
'Two months ago. The day before school started.' She said.
'Never do that again.' I tell her. She sobs more.
'I'm not making any promises, you'd hate me.'
'You can't do that anymore.'
'I've been cutting more lately. I bought razors from the corner store.' Evan looked concerned.
We walk into the apartment to be greeted with the smell of spices.
'What is that smell?' I say taking a deep breath of wonderful smelling air.
'Autumn spice cookies.' Jenifer says from in the kitchen.
Evan and I go to the guest bedroom (which from now on I'll be calling their room). We lay on the bed and snuggle. Evan and I snuggle all the time and I LOVE IT! The warmth his body creates when nuzzled next to mine. It felt like heaven.
We fell asleep for a much-needed nap. This morning we were woken up to Alice banging on our door. We had to let her in and I let her into the bed. She sandwiched herself in between Evan and I. I'm glad that she loves him.
The next day
Fifteen hours of sleep. Evan and I should have felt very refreshed. Instead though we felt depressed. When Jeremy and Micheal came over to give Evan his laptop and medications, they had forgotten the medications. They were also supposed to bring mine as well, but I don't think my mom had let them, because they didn't have my medicine either.
I've been cutting more and more. Evan doesn't know about it. It's cold enough so I can wear long sleeves without looking like I'm my hiding new scars. The razor I cut with is hidden inside the old box of pregnancy test. I figured he wouldn't look in the box that got us into a big fight.
I walk into the kitchen where I find Alice. I stay quiet. Why was she awake at six in the morning? I see her small five year old body (she turned five over the last month) pick up something I didn't expect. A knife.
I wait to see what she is doing. She takes the knife and runs her finger over the blade. She flinches at the pointed tip. She holds the knife over her wrist.
'STOP!' I yell. Startled, Alice accidentally drops the knife and it made a loud noise as it hit the floor.
'WHAT. ARE. YOU. DOING?' I yell.
'I saw you do this before.' She replied. My heart stopped. I'm the reason Alice could have killed herself. I drop down on my knees in front of her. 'Never do this. You could have died.'
'I'm sorry.'
'You better be. You mean EVERYTHING to me. If you had,' I sniffled through my sobs, 'died. I don't know what I would have done.'
Alice gives me a hug. I make her promise to stay away from knives. Evan, who'd watched the whole scene play out, came up to us. He picked up Alice and I and we had a big hug. Alice, Evan, and I stay hugging for a few minuets. I'm crying and Alice has a frown on her face. Evan looks like he just witnessed one of those videos of military parents surprising their kids with a visit.
When we separate we smile at each other. We spend the whole day watching YouTube videos and doing schoolwork.
PLEASE READ A/n: I know it's the chapter is a bit shorter than usual. I'm working on another story which should be out soon. Please let me know how much longer I should make this fanfic.
♥️♥️♥️ Sincerely, Me!
