My Alpha Centauri (Completed)

說話沒有過濾器|3.5

'You were plussing things and I was summing them up...but I couldn't handle it...I couldn't handle you and your words...'

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A R T

THERE WAS A PART OF ME THAT TUCK TAILED AT THE PROSPECT OF SPEAKING. Of letting everything I had worked for go because a certain male was too hot headed to even rationalise. He didn't want to read my words anymore and it got so frustrating I just wanted to–

'Don't you look happy...?' I snapped my eyes up when I heard a familiar voice and everything in me turned absolutely cold when I spotted the owner. It wasn't a dreading cold, it was a 'I can't fucking deal with the pain of familiarity' cold, one that drove down my neck and made me want to rethink everything over and over again.

I was eating my breakfast, thinking over the different things that would happen if I speak and wanting to know where this sudden change of direction came from. I had just woken up before that, trying to ignore the pain of my lips and the sudden change in my attitude towards North. But what I expected to be a side dish of normal actually turned out to be a flipping world changer.

I gazed at him with the widest eyes, taking in his hair and his eyes and the things that made him just like me – the things that made him familiar.

'Artemis...' No one had called me that for years and it hit so close to home, I winced at the sting. 'I wasn't expecting you...none of us were.'

The way he said us sent those 'familiar' chills rushing through my body and I flickered my eyes around, finding so much similarity in his forest eyes.

I couldn't speak so I stayed silent, because that was what I did; I stayed silent when I needed to speak.

'I missed you...' The air turned cold and I tried to stop the pain rushing through my head like a river, I tried to ignore the fact my brother was standing in front of me and acting like he needed me.

I didn't hear his footsteps because he was so graceful and I didn't feel his body until it leant against mine and he pressed a kiss to my neck, I didn't feel his stare until I looked up at him with nothing, the perfected wall falling onto me and making me nothing.

Then when North looked up, he looked at my brother with a hard expression, everything in him showing that he wasn't okay with him being around.

'What the fuck do you think you're doing here?' His tone made me want to flinch and I stopped my body from falling into his harshness and the frost bite he brought along with him.

'I came to see my sister.' I glared at the counter, hating how the words overflowed yet never spilled and how sister seemed so foreign – because my family doesn't exist.

North was silent and that killed me, because his silent was deadly, and it was so cold and harsh I didn't have a name for it because it was wild. My brother bore his eyes into mine, begging me to speak and tell a story – tell my story.

'Evander.' North gritted, his eyes like steel and his body like ice. 'Get the fuck out of here...'

'Not until she speaks.' Evan whispered, his eyes just like mine, but his body not.

'You came back...yet there is no back.' The ink dripped heavily, and that gave me a sad feeling I couldn't handle. So I backed up and ran out the door, not caring about North's aching howl or the fact the forest surrounded me, or how my legs burned and my lungs cracked.

There were sounds I couldn't hear, and things I couldn't see. All I was focused on was getting away. Was leaving everything I had behind because it was too much, because he was too much.

Then when my body smacked into the ground I didn't get up. I cried. I cried so hard no tears came out. I cried so fucking hard I broke. I shattered across the ground, hating how I couldn't get up and that I didn't want to.

And when I did get up, I made my way home because North wasn't close enough to find me, because I didn't want him to find me.

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Evander grabbed me and Sun, his large arms wrapping around us and providing a warmth as blue as the sea. The sobs wouldn't escape me and that made me angry, because Sobo deserved my tears, she deserved my words.

'She was beautiful – she is beautiful...and we can't take that from her...' It was my own voice which sounded foreign to my ears and I clasped my hands over my ears, shaking my head frantically; trying to get the buzz to stop.

Everyone nodded because it was true; because Sobo was so beautiful no one could ever take that from us, no one could ever make us forget.

'Sobo...' I whispered to the air, making sure my voice was soft enough that no one could hear it, 'It's hard to keep warm...when you were the sun.'

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When I got home, I heard the familiar howls, the agony and hate and pain and love in one sound which was so hard to capture. I pressed my head against my pillow, everything making sense when I thought about it hard enough; the growls, the wild and his snarls.

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'Lycans take too much...because they're real...because they love...and because they are the dark.'

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The next things I thought about were how I couldn't hide from him, not when he was the alpha and when I was his Luna. North was too North, and I couldn't possibly fight that even though I wanted to so much.

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THANKS FOR CHOOSING 'MY ALPHA CENTAURI'

Maybe we're supposed to miss being young and maybe we're supposed to want to grow up. Maybe that's part of wanting to move on, maybe that's part of us.