Chapter Thirty-two

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I run further then I ever have before. As I run, I slowly convince myself out of love and I run til my head is clear. My lungs are burning as I run past my normal turning point, but I keep going because I still have things to think about. I'm running where I have never ran before, it is uphill and tree roots climb out of the ground making the track uneven and hard to run up. My legs are moving even though my brain is screaming for them to stop, I jump over rocks and roots and keep going. I feel furious at myself and I'm slowly tainting the image of Miss Winnett that I believe. I'm nit picking all of her bad qualities and making her into an unloveable monster, it is working because I feel as if every footstep I'm leaving a tiny bit of my love behind. My legs are starting to stumble on small roots and my brain connects with them again, forcing them to stop but I don't want to yet. I go to jump a huge rock but my feet catch on it, I hit the ground, winded, and a stinging pain shoots through my leg and nose. I lie on the ground and pant rapidly trying to catch my breath, I feel hot blood leave my nose and dribble down my face. I finally sit up and look down at my leg, an enormous gash is pouring blood down the front of my leg. I can taste the metallic taste of blood and gingerly raise my hand to my nose, it isn't broken, bleeding heavily though. I slowly get to my feet and brush myself off, nothing is broken but my leg kills when I put weight on it. I have run so far that I'm in a place I only come on a horse, it is high up so I have a view of my house and I manoeuvre myself down the hill slowly, pinching my nose bleed which hasn't stopped. I make it to the house and push open the front door, flopping into a chair with relief. I smell of blood and sweat and my sock squelches with the liquid that has run into it.

"Hey, where have you been?" Katherine asks, facing the stovetop so she can't she me.

"In a pickle," I reply.

She spins around and sees the state of me. "What now?" She mutters as she walks over to me. "What happen?" She gets the first aid kit from the cupboard and looks at me concerned.

"I tripped when I was out running."

The disinfectant stings my leg as she wipes the blood away and she hands me a cloth for my nose.

"Where the hell were you running to do this?" She asks flustered sounding.

I look down at my leg. Now that the blood is gone I can see how big the cut is. It is about 15 centimetres long and one centimetre deep.

"I was about six kilometres away."

"Seriously? Why were you running that far?" Katherine looks at me worriedly and tucks her hair behind her ears.

I shrug and we hear footsteps coming down the stairs.

"Is everything ok, Angie?" Katherine whispers, meeting my eyes before Dad walks in.

"Jesus, Ange." Dad says taken aback, he quickly walks out of the room because of his hate for blood and my shirt is pretty much red all over.

"Ok, Ange. Go have a shower and then I'll bandage you up," Katherine says. "We can talk later," she adds.

I nod and head up the stairs, I won't tell Katherine anything, though.

My nose has stopped bleeding and so has my leg, but it doesn't stop it from stinging like a mother when I get into the shower. I look all over my body and notice heaps of little grazes and cuts from the fall, there is a massive scrap on my stomach. After my shower I look in the mirror, I have a bruise coming out on my chin and a large cut in my eyebrow like movie stars. I go back downstairs to Katherine, who pulls out a cool ointment and lovingly applies it to all of my nicks.

"So, what are you mad or sad about?" Katherine asks straight away while smoothing out lump in the ointment.

"I'm not," I deny.

"Oh, please. Whenever shit hits the fan in your head, you run until your body just can't do it anymore."

"I do not." I defend and then I think about all the times when things just weren't working out. Running clears my head and makes me so tired I just can't stand to think anymore. "Maybe I do."

"What is happening then?" Katherine looks down at me gently.

"Nothing... Don't worry it really isn't a big deal."

She pulls up my shirt to put a bandaid beneath my boob.

"If that's what you want, Ange. Just so you know, I'm here and I'll listen."

"Thank you, Katherine."

"I think I'll leave your leg to air overnight. You're all done." Katherine closes the first aid kit with a snap.

I suddenly feel overwhelmed by Katherine and how much she must love me, I pull her into a hug.

"Thank you," I whisper softly.

I must have caught her off guard because usually she would say something back. Instead she just hugs me back and when I go back up the stairs, I see her wipe a tear from her eye.

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