Chapter Forty

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Emma stares out of my bedroom window at me as I walk to the front door. I open it and let out a sigh of relief, it is spotless, at least the party didn't relocate inside. I look out the window, there are only a few cans rolling around in the wind and the fire smouldering. I climb the stairs in dread of the confrontation about to go down. I slowly open my bedroom door and step in. I nearly get knocked to the ground by Emma, she wraps her arms around my neck and hugs me. I hug her back and look at Carol, who is sitting on the bed with a smug expression on her face.

"I'm so, so, so sorry," Emma whimpers.

"Oh, Em. It is ok," I laugh, patting her head.

"No, it isn't. I deserve more then a punch, it didn't even bruise."

I pull her away, her cheeks are shining with tears.

"Honestly, Em. It is fine," I assure her.

She breaks into a watery smile and hugs me again. Carol slides off the bed and hug both of us.

"Group hug," She whispers in a creepy voice.

We all laugh and stand in our group hug for a little while longer. We break away, Carol returns to the bed and Emma flops down into the armchair, holding her head in pain.

"Got a sore head, do we?" I tease, taking off Nat's clothes and walking into my wardrobe.

"Arg," she groans in response.

"So, Ange, who was it last night? Couldn't help but notice when you stripped right in front of us that you have a few love bites," Carol calls to me in curiously and amusement.

I look down at my body. I have a hickey on my leg, two on my belly, on my collarbone and on my neck. I pull on a bra and t-shirt, buying time to foolproof my story.

"So?" Carol says, she is standing in the doorway now, meaning she had to move so she must be really interested in who it was. "Who's clothes are these?" She asks suspiciously and looking at me closely for my reaction.

"If you must know." I sigh, pulling on pants and brushing past her, I open the door and go down the stairs, they follow me. "Ryan Nook, again."

"Breaking your own rules majorly," Emma says satisfied sounding.

Carol isn't so easily told, though. "Doesn't explain the ladies clothes though."

I walk into the kitchen and open the fridge. "Jesus, you're gayer then me." I say to Carol with my head in the fridge so I don't make eye contact. "If that is what you meant," I add quickly, closing the fridge.

"What do you mean?" Carol says mortified.

I sit down beside Emma on the couch and watch Carol look at me bewildered.

"I forget she is a blackout drunk," I say to Emma.

Emma nods, although not really listening because of her headache.

"What do you mean by that?" Carol urges.

"Nothing."

'Tell me."

I sigh. "You were picking up with a chick last night," I say quickly.

"Well, fuck," she says quietly.

"Oh, and then you hit on me," I say offhandedly.

"Fuck times two." She looks a little disgusted with herself and staring at one spot trying to gather her thoughts. "Sorry about that, Ange," she says after her reflection. "I am not gay," she adds reassuring herself rather then us seriously. "I think."

I shrug. "Not the first time."

She rolls her eyes and slides off the stool, falling on the couch, laying on me and Emma.

"Ow," Emma complains, but is to hungover to push her off.

Carol's head is in my lap and I play with her hair.

"God, I can't believe I did that," she sighs.

"It is ok, most of the girls were kissing other girls. Besides, you were kissing a dreadlocked stoner at the start."

"Stoner guy? That would explain the blackout."

"No, sweetie. You blackout cause you can't handle your piss."

We all stare out the window, looking down the steps, across the remains of the fire and into the mountains.

"You still didn't tell me how you got those clothes," Carol says after a while.

"Ryan's sister, she is a uni student and is so nice."

"Oh." I can't help but notice she sounds a little bored with my response, like she wanted a juicy story.

I wish I could tell them the truth, it has only been a day of my relationship with Natalie and already I feel as if it has been years of hiding. I feel fulfilled in myself, but at the same time, lost and alone.

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