The Art of Falling In Love | Pentagon ✔

Chapter 17

CHEATING AND LYING aren't struggles of a relationship. They are a reason, a huge warning bell telling you to stop. Stop coming up with excuses to tolerate your unloyal, unfaithful partner. Once you knew about it, stop it. After all, a person wouldn't seek for the love of another if they're still in love with the current one.

It's almost as easy as that if the thing called love wasn't involved. Falling in love with someone means you are allowing them to heal you or break you a thousand times. You are vulnerable. That's why falling in love is always a risk. A risk so many are so willing to take.

The reason I'm thinking about this is because I just finished talking with Gain. I couldn't help myself from confronting her, asking her why she did it.

And as I walked to Yanan and Changgu's dorm, I recalled our conversation a while ago.

•

"So why did you do it? Why cheat on him? He's been trying so hard for you."

Gain looked at me with displeasure. "Aren't you always Miss-Know-It-All? Do you even really know your best friend? Or did you skip the parts of knowing about his romantic relationship because of your own little feelings?"

I was taken aback by the sharpness of the way she talked. "What is wrong with you?"

I followed her through the campus while she was alone. "You don't know everything, Chanmi. If we look back, Yanan cheated on me first."

"What are you talking about?"

"Do you think I didn't try for him, too?" she asked, stopping on her tracks. "But everytime we're together, I know who he's thinking about. Maybe he didn't cheat on me like the usual. He didn't kiss another girl or became exclusive with her. But every single damn time, I knew he was wishing he was with you instead. In his mind, he was already cheating on me."

"But he always put you first!"

"Did he? He always saved money to buy you a gift first. He saw the first snow with you first. It was my birthday but he had to pick you up from the station first. We set a date, but he had to go to his friends first. Something good happens to him? He tells you first. He's feeling the weight of the world on his shoulders? He goes to you first. And yes, I was jealous. I was the girlfriend. I didn't become one to be his second choice!"

When I didn't say anything, she chuckled bitterly. "And you blame me for having someone else? Every time I'm with another guy, I feel much more treasured than when I was with him. Yanan knows how toxic our relationship was, Chanmi. You can't get mad for him because you know nothing."

•

When I got to their dorm, Changgu was the one who led me inside. "Great timing. His parents will come soon." he said as we sat in the lobby.

"Changgu-ah," I said, staring at the distance.

"Why? What's with the long face?"

"Why is fate like that? Why is love like that?"

He chuckled. "Are you okay?"

"No, I... I don't understand how love could feel so intense at some point, and then just fades away when it wants to. I don't understand why Yanan didn't tell me about his feelings when I felt the same way. Every day, I learn a little more about how he felt about meㅡand how we have been lingering around each other feeling the same way without knowing it. I wonder what if we have known at the right time?"