Notice My Pain

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Hermione's POV

Days later...

Today was going to be rough. Almost 50% of my day was with Slytherin, and I was still embarrassed from my previous encounter with ickle Slytherin princess Malfoy. All I could do was mock and tease him.

But it hurt so badly.

Every time I see him I mess up terribly, either because of that pug-faced girl named Pansy Parkinson, or because Malfoy's surrounded by all of his so called 'friends' . The moment I blurt out something negative about the princess, I end up slapping and beating myself up for it (THIS is why Hermione met Harry and Ron in the first place!).

I couldn't be ashamed of myself for any longer, and I had no clue what I was doing. I stood up from my seat in Transfiguration to head off for DADA. Quirrel was.. Questionable. He was always stuttering and he wore a purple turban. See? Questionable.

I gloomily took my seat in the middle of the class. I didn't bother about DADA right now, it's not like I could understand anyway. Slouched in my seat, I didn't notice somebody sit beside me.

"Granger" said a cold voice. I turned to face the speaker to find the princess

"Malfoy, what are you doing here? I'm not in the mood for arguing right now."

"Why? Are you scared that I'll make you cry? Weak Mudblood.."

"I'm not weak!"

"Prove it"

"Why should I? Is that an order?"

"Granger, please. If I were to order you around I wouldn't do it this way"

"Are you saying you'd like to order me around, princess?"

"No! I just-" Malfoy objected, flushing a deep pink.

"You just like me, that's why"

"No, you just like me, that's why!"

"Don't use my words against me Malfoy"

"Is that an order, Her- Granger?"

"Don't you dare use that again-"

"Everybody bow down to Filthy Queen Granger!"

"Shut up Malfoy!"

"Miss G-g-g-Granger, Mister M-m-Malfoy, p-p-please be q-q-q-quiet!" Professor Quirrell stuttered.

Malfoy sneered at Professor Quirrel, though unnoticed. Many Slytherin's giggled, making it my  turn to redden a deep beet red.

Later

8:00 pm, Gryffindor Tower.

Just like every night, I was tossing and turning in my bed, restless. Though this time I wasn't thinking about Malfoy (surprisingly). I thought of how much of a mistake I made. It was a mistake to talk to Malfoy, it was a mistake to even bother with him and not talk to somebody else.. It was a huge mistake to love him.

Yes. I admit. I love him. I know he would never return the appreciation, but I have to try. 

He doesn't understand what it's like to be tossed into the dirt. He doesn't understand what it's like to be called names and be treated like nothing. He doesn't understand what it's like to love someone who you hate. He doesn't understand what it's like to torture yourself because of someone.

He won't ever notice my tears, sorrow, and pain.

All I wanted was to have somebody who cares about me.

Is that too much to ask for?


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