The Elahim Brothers

Δ

13 September 2017

Dear Fatima,

I hope you are well. I apologize for not responding to any of your letter. I was unavailable or least to say, unaware.
Fathimah, I wonder at times,that you actually do remember me. Sometimes I forget that outside my life, outside this apartment, you are living in the same world as mine.
Do you remember Fatimah, how much we pondered upon the man we would get married to. We had so much desire. Often we wished upon being each other's significant other only if we were of the opposite gender.
Fatimah, the memory of your laughter puts me in good spirit ,do you still laugh the way you did.
The connection we had and the helpless distance now disgusts me at times.
I have not even seen your son.
Fatimah,I am leaving again.
I am returning to Dar-Al-Maqamah.
I know this would put you into distress but these words have a dire need to escape or else I would subside under the weight of this.
Fatimah, can you pray that I meet my end soon. For I cannot live like this.
Fatimah, I have been faithful with my efforts,he doesn't listen to me. He loves to see me cry. Yes, the Almighty has been either too brutal or beyond pleased to see me suffer.
The things have crossed their limit.
I do not remember myself. If anything,then I only remember you; vaguely.
I recall what my past was like but everything is a large screen blurred.
A vision murky.
It is a long life.
How do people live?
How do people fear death?
I would certainly embrace death with open arms even if it would be the most painful one.
My return is for no particular reason.
I am exhausted. Extremely exhausted.
My part is played. I want to see Fateh. I want to see Father. I want to see Grandma. I want to return to the graveyard of my death.
I want pay my homage to my tombstone. To return a crushed foxglove, that is only a particle in a small plastic secure.
I want to remember the very start of my destruction.
Fatimah, can you please pray that I acquire in Jannah.
I hope he is not entirely displeased.
I tried.
Dear God, I tried.
Take care Fatimah.
I might write soon if I live .

Yours truly,
Falaq