I Won't

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Theodosia

I grabbed my Starbucks and hurried to find Samuel before I had to head to my Social Study class and him his Chinese Civilization course. Even though school just started yesterday I had already switched my studies from becoming a teacher to becoming a social worker after just one day at my internship. It's not that I didn't like the kids, I just saw four of them struggling because they didn't have a forever home so I want to work in that field now instead, Eliza's got teaching covered anyway.

I ran to Samuel Seabury when I saw him and threw my arms around him as he spun me in a circle, he and I had clicked over our free period yesterday and we were sort of going out now though it wasn't official. He set me down and grinned, "How's the most beautiful woman in the world doing today?" He asked and I sipped my coffee.

"Well," I told him as we locked hands, "I have coffee and a lover so I'm doing pretty good. Plus I'm feelin' a little confident with this whole no makeup look at the moment." I got on my tiptoes and kissed his cheek before getting back on the balls of my feet. We put our foreheads together and I tried to ignore the fact that Aaron Burr was watching me with a heartbroken expression, why do I still have feelings for that asshole?

"He's watching us again," Samuel grumbled as we walked to my class, he always dropped me off at my class before going to his. I nodded and he looked at me, "You know he's a shitty guy, right? He doesn't deserve you. Don't go back to him."

I sighed and squeezed his hand, "I won't." I said as I tried to ignore my throat burning and my heart screaming as I kissed his cheek again before heading into the classroom. I sat down and put my head in my arms as I slumped over to pretend I was sleeping, it was a botched attempt to try and hide the pain and tears.

"Fine." I looked at him, scared and shocked, "I will." My heart probably broke in two as he stormed out of the room, not even bothering to grab his laptop, every door he passed was slammed closed leaving me alone.  

"Aaron..."

Aaron

I watched Theo leave with that punk Seabury and I looked down, I wasn't going to make it to my class today. I left the building and just walked, it was all I could do, walk and kick a can every step I took. I needed a better distraction but...I should've waited because when I took a turn I locked eyes with an open strip club which I ran into for somebody, anybody, to distract me from this emotional torment.

It wasn't meant to be like this.

I shouldn't be doing this.

But when I locked eyes with Miss Eugénie Bearhani I stopped thinking about what was right and started thinking about what would feel good.

I hurried over to her and she sauntered to me with her hips almost rolling, her tan skin gorgeous under the lights. I pulled her closer at the waist and she smirked, "You're gonna have to pay for that, honey." She told me.

I pulled my wallet out, "Only if you don't disappoint me, honey." I told her in a semi-sarcastic tone of voice.

"Oh, I won't."

Jane

I giggled as Thomas picked me up bridal style, our last class of the day (Public Speaking) was finally over! He peppered my face with kisses and I couldn't help but just grin as he walked us back to his car. We hadn't seen Aaron since he got out of the car but we weren't that worried since he texted saying he was skipping for today.

Thomas got us to his car and I got into the front seat as he climbed into the driver's side, "To the courthouse!" He yelled and turned the key on to start the car. I felt excitement boil up inside me and I couldn't tell if it was nervousness or excitement.

"I'm so happy," I said quietly as Thomas pulled out of the parking lot, "This is the best day." Thomas hummed in agreement and I bit my lip in anticipation as I pulled on a loose thread of the dress. The dress was white because Peggy is really into color theory and white represents a rebirth of some shit so she put me in a redress as a sort of rebirth because I've decided to transition.

"If this is too personal you don't have to answer," Thomas said and I turned to pay attention to him as he kept his eyes on the road, "But are you going to start hormone treatment and such? And get surgeries? Grow your hair out? I don't mind, I really don't, I love you no matter what you look like or sound like, I'm just curious."

I smiled softly, "Hey don't get worked up." I said quietly, he was so caring and concerned for my feelings it made me really happy to know he was that worried for me, "And to answer you, yeah I want to do all of that." I told him as I turned to watch the road as well, "Changing my name is just one step. Peggy told me that transitioning is just like walking; you put one foot in front of the other and you don't stop until you reach your destination. This are steps. I've come out, I've changed my pronouns, I've changed my wardrobe, and now I'm changing my name and legal gender. Small steps will eventually lead me to where I want to be." I don't know if I was convincing myself but voicing these things made me feel happy inside.

"Well...I want to be here with you through it all," Thomas said as he pulled up into the courthouse, "I want to hold your hand as you make each step." He turned to me and flashed a smile, "Because you're my beautiful girlfriend."

I felt my eyes widen a little bit before I knew I was burning red, "L-Let's go get this legal stuff worked out..." I looked at him and then back down, "B-Babe." Thomas laughed and I hit his arm lightly, "Don't make fun of me!"

"But you're just so cute!" Thomas said and I rolled my eyes but didn't fight when he kissed me, I closed my eyes and tilted my head to kiss back. Thomas pulled me closer by the back of my head before we separated, "Let's go inside."

"Right..." I got out and Thomas hurried to my side of the car to take my hand. I looked up at him and said, "Don't call me James anymore that's...that name is dead." I told him as we walked to the building.

"I won't."

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