im here // phan

ten

We had been driving around the area for about a half hour, and we still hadn't found anything. But Dan and I had been jamming out to our favorite songs, and we ended up with a bunch of songs that would be our songs. It was thrilling; we had both heard the songs before, memorized all the lyrics and sang them in our worst voices possible. But Dan just did it in a way where is was adorable.

"Phil, we haven't found anything! Our best bet is to drive back up to our old school!" Dan complained, then continued to hum the tune to the song playing. It was anxiety by blackbear. I liked it, and Dan seemed to like it too.

"You're right. I mean it's about a half hour drive to school, and we've been driving for a half hour in the other direction." I reasoned. Dan began to sing the chorus of the song, bopping his head up and down. It was so cute. He was so cute.

"Oh wait, Phil! A school!" Dan shouted, his pointer finger jabbing towards a large building on a field of bright grass. I spotted it after Dan's violent jabbing stopped, and it was the most beautiful brick building I had ever seen.

"We have got to go there Dan!" I exclaimed. Dan nodded, and he made a sharp turn onto the property.

"It looks so fancy. My guess is that it's a private school. Think we would fit in there?" Dan inquired. I rolled my eyes, shaking my head.

"We wouldn't. But I would love to go there. My parents would be thrilled. I bet if we got in and told your dad, he would be thrilled too." I spoke. Dan cheekily smiled.

"He was always super proud me. Despite the fact that I was super young. But, he was proud. That was what mattered to me anyways." Dan sighed. We had managed to park pretty close to the school. We hopped out of the car, and stood beside the car for a second, taking in the beautiful architecture.

"Let's go inside." I said, grabbing Dan by the wrist and walking towards the door. As we were walking, I loosened my grip on Dan's wrist. He had slid his hand out of my grip, then intertwined our fingers together and squeezed tight again. Was this a thing friends did? I mean I'm not complaining... I thought to myself. Those kinds of things rushed through my head a lot when I was with Dan. It was surprising how often I thought that. But I always went with the flow when the situations arise. His fingers were pretty long, but very soft as well. I liked his touch on my hands. We entered the door, which was like an archway inside. Everything was very open and natural.

"Look, there is a sign that says "office" on it. I think we should head that way." Dan whispered, considering school was in session. I bobbed my head up and down, and we walked hand and hand down the corridor. We walked through the door to the office, and there sat a grey, old lady at a wooden desk.

"Hello, what can I do for you two?" She asked, her frail voice shaking when she spoke.

"Hello, uhm, so we just moved here from out of town. Your school is the closest to our flat. Is there any way to enroll into your school?" I mumbled, because the room was dead silent, so there was no reason to speak loudly.

"Yes, you can. You'll just have to fill out some forms for us, and there is a test you'll have to take. It's very easy, so don't stress about it. You should know all the content. We will supply you with uniforms, two pair of the everyday and two pair for physical education as well." The desk lady explained. Dan and I nodded, and she pulled out two clipboards with papers all attached to them. Pens were perched on top of the clips. She passed them onto us, so Dan and I dropped each other's hands and took the boards. We sat next to each other on the couch, thighs touching, and started filling out the papers. Name the paper had written on it. That's easy; my name is Philip Micheal Lester. Oh. It only asked for first and last. Great going Phil.

———

The papers were super boring. I just had to fill about a bunch of info about me, and then Dan and I took the test. Some very official looking man graded them, and said we passed. So we were in the school. Desk lady gave us our schedules with a wink, and we realized why after we read them. She gave us all the same classes. It was like a miracle to me.

"Today is Friday, and you guys start Monday. See you then. We will mail your uniforms to you over the weekend." Desk lady said dully.

"Thank you." Dan chirped. "See you Monday." We walked out the office door, and then Dan tapped my wrist, and held his hand out. Instinctively, I locked my fingers into his. Did he enjoy the feeling of my hand like I did his? I was way overthinking the gesture. Friends hold hands all the time. We walked back out the the car, and released hands once again. The loss of warmth saddened me. Dan hopped into the driver side, and I hopped into the passenger side.

"We did it, Dan! We got into a school! A good one!" I cheered. Dan started up the car with a smile on his face. His white teeth shimmered in the afternoon light.

"I'm proud of us...proud of you." Dan blushed.

"I'm proud of us, and you." I replied.

"Look how far we have come, Phil. I was your new neighbor. We carpooled once, and it was like the begging of an era. We have a lot ahead of us Phil." Dan spilled.

So many feelings rushed over me in the moment. I felt like something had to be done about what I was feeling. Was it love? I didn't know what love was. But I think this is what it is.

I reached across the seat and grabbed Dan's hands in my own. He looked a little shocked. Then, I gently placed my hands on his face, and slowly leaned towards Dan. He didn't freak out, and he went with it. His eyes shut right before mine, and I placed my lips on his. They were soft, and sweet. It was gentle. I think I fell more in love with him in that moment. It hit me how much I had fallen for him in the time I had known him. I found a lost soul who needed saving from the darkness.

The kiss lasted at least 10 seconds, maybe longer... I'm not sure. But then, our lips cracked apart, and the color was all gone from Dan's face. His chocolate eyes were wide open and his jaw was dropped to the floor.

"I-I️ have to, uh-go..." Dan stuttered, getting out of the car, slamming the door shut, and pulling out his phone. He clicked on an app, and clicked some more things, and before I️ knew it, an Uber was pulling up in the lot, and he hopped in and pointed in the direction we came from.

I️ had just messed everything up, completely. He had just talked about how far we had come minutes ago, and now I️ had lost him forever. What about school? We have every single class together. That damn desk lady! What am I️ supposed to do now? Probably lock myself in my room, never eat and just cry oceans until I️ die. I️ lost the one thing that I️ cared most about. I️ had to call my mum, then my dad. I️ pulled out my phone, and clicked onto my mums contact. I️ put the phone up to my ear, and waited for her to answer.

"Hey, Phil! Nice to hear from you. How is the new flat?" I️ couldn't help tearing up hearing her say it so joyfully.

"Mum, Dan and I️, uhm, had a falling out. He's gone out in and Uber, and I️ don't know where he is going. I️ mean I️ have his cell number, but he'll probably block it." I️ was chocking on my own words.

"What happened?" She inquired. I️ had to tell her. She was my mum.

"I️ kissed him." I️ replied. The line went dead. "Hello...Mum? Mum!?" She had hung up on me. I️ had no idea what I️ had said. Maybe it was poor connection or something. We were pretty far, I️ guess. I️ clicked onto my dad, and he answered right away.

"PHILIP MICHEAL LESTER GET YOUR ASS BACK HOME AS SOON AS YOU CAN! I️ NEED TO SEE YOU RIGHT AWAY." He yelled into the phone, and I️ jumped back.

"O-okay, dad..." I️ whimpered. I️ hung up this time, because I️ couldn't take this all in. First, I️ lost Dan. Then my parents. I️ had nobody left to lean on. I️ guess the only thing left to do was sit there and cry until I️ died. I️ slammed my face down onto the dashboard, and let the salty tears run down my pale cheeks.