im here // phan

twenty

Last part in Dan's POV until a new perspective. Enjoy.

I gently wrapped my wrists up, and then walked out of the bathroom. The halls were very empty, with an occasional doctor walking by. I tried to remember my way back to the waiting room, but I was kind of dizzy and my brain wasn't working right. I looked left and right, then left and right again. I decided that left seemed right, so I started walking in that direction. Everything seemed kind of familiar, so I kept following my gut. I did end up back at the waiting room, and I was again greeted by the sickening faces of the Lesters. I wanted to run back to the bathroom and cut myself again, but I resisted the urge and filled my mind with happy thoughts of Phil. He did mention that he had that YouTube channel. I was kind of surprised I had never stumbled upon him considering YouTube was somewhere I was a lot. I pulled my phone from my back pocket, and my earbuds along with it. I never left home without my cell and earbuds. Essentials to life, and also an escape from reality. I plugged the jack into the bottom of my phone, and placed the buds in my ears. I sat down as far away for the Lester's as possible in that room, which now seemed so small. I opened my YouTube app, and typed in AmazingPhil. He happened to come right up, and his channel had about 50 subscribers. I didn't expect him to be YouTube famous or anything.

I clicked on one of his videos, and his voice began to fill my ears. His sweet little face looked into the camera and talked to it like a best friend. This video was from about a year ago. He looked so different; his hair was much longer, his face was less pale, his eyes seemed less blue almost.

I noticed after watching a few videos that I hadn't subscribed yet. I clicked the red subscribe button, and it went white, with a little check mark next to the word subscribed.

I ended up sitting in that waiting room watching every single video on his channel. There wasn't a lot - probably about 20, and they were short. But he was right, it was nice to hear his sing-song voice. It was a level of comfort while he wasn't here.

I was tapped on the shoulder while I had my earbuds in, and I pulled them out quickly. It was Phil's doctor. This was a now-common face that really shouldn't have been.

"Phil's scan went perfectly fine, showing that he has no brain damage. He is also up and walking, which is a good sign for his recovery." The doctor explained with absurd hand gestures. I could never understand why people used their hands so much.

I had to act like I never saw Phil, because technically I wasn't really supposed to see him. "That's wonderful. So when can he come home? I'm sick of this place and he is too." I inquired. The doctor chuckled a little, then looked out into the distance.

"Probably tomorrow. We have to keep him here one more night, and hopefully in the morning we can release him back to you." He answered. His head bobbed up and down as he spoke.

"Alright, thanks." I said, then flashed a quick smile. The doctor turned back towards Phil's room, and my instinct told me to get up and follow him, so I did. I shoved my phone and earbuds back into my pocket, and took large strides to catch up to the doctor. He turned around, and looked dumbfounded.

"Oh, yes. I did forget to mention you could see him." He consoled, scratching his head.

"Yeah, alright." I mumbled. That's not just something you forget to tell someone.

"Follow me." Again, his hands flailed and I couldn't really follow what the hell they were doing. But I just mimicked his steps, and we ended up at Phil's room. He was sat upright on his bed, a smile plastered on his face. It was so nice to see him happy and healthy. Well, healthy to an extent.

"Thanks." I whispered, and the doctor looked confused but left anyways. He shut the door behind him.

"Are you okay?" Were the first words to escape Phil's lips as the doctor left.

"Yeah, but I forgot about cleaning up all the blood. And the shards of the vase." I muttered.

"You what?" Phil asked, leaning forward.

"I forgot about cleaning up the blood and the shards of the vase. I left it all there." I annunciated. Phil's eyes widened when he got the message.

"You have to go clean it up before the doctors find it. They will be so suspicious!" Phil exclaimed. He had never been more correct.

"Okay, I guess I do. I'll be right back. I swear." I said, the darted out the door and straight back to the bathroom. I only bumped into 4 people on my way. I walked in, and the blood was shards were still there. I picked up each shard gently, tossing it into the trash can right next to the sinks. Then, I grabbed a bunch of paper towels, and wiped the blood puddles from the floor. I threw the paper towels in the trash can, and covered everything up with more paper towels. I wet them a little so it looked like people dried their hands with them. I stood up off the floor, and it looked like nothing had ever happened. I sighed, and walked back out the door calmly. I tried to wipe the fear off my face. I didn't want to get caught or anything. What would they even do if they found all that? I shook my head, and kept walking towards Phil's room. I walked through the door, and he was still sat in the same position as when I left.

"All good?" He asked when I came through the door.

"Yes, it looked like me and my depressed self were never there." I joked, which wasn't really a joke but I said it in the way you say a joke. Jokingly, I guess.

"Speaking of which, we need to talk about you cutting again. I was too panicked to ask you anything, I just needed to help you. Why? Why did you cut?" Phil asked, concern slipping his lips.

"It was a mix of a lot of things." I started, then Phil cut me off.

"Sit." He patted the empty bed space next to him. I hopped up on the bed, and crossed my legs.

"First off, your parents. They were being little homophobic assholes. Secondly, my dad. I called the number he gave me, and his voicemail it, he was, he..." I explained, but my feelings stopped me there. I wanted Phil to know everything, but I just couldn't get it out.

"Dan, I'm so sorry my parents did this to you. I'll be sure to give them a piece of my mind. They don't know what's good for them. They are nice people, I promise. But I didn't even know they were homophobic." Phil sympathized. I leaned my head onto his shoulder, and he stroked my hair gently. "I'm sorry.." he mumbled.

"It is in no way your fault, Phil." I said. Then, a sudden thought struck me. It was Monday. We were supposed to start school today. That fancy one near our apartment. "Wait, Phil..."

"Yeah?"

"We were supposed to start school today." I exclaimed. Phil's eyes widened.

"I have the number to the school in my phone. Call them and explain what happened. Tell the lady we will be there on Wednesday." Phil said, pointing to his phone on the side table. I reached out for it, and opened it up. He didn't have a password, which seems kinda weird. I clicked on the green call app, and called the school. I pressed the phone to my ear.

"Hello?" The familiar desk lady voice came through.

"Hi, um, this is Daniel Howell. My friend and I applied to your school on Friday, and we were supposed to begin classes today, but Phil was in a major car crash, and we've been stuck in the hospital for a few days. I'm so sorry, we will be back on Wednesday." I waited for her response.

"I heard about that crash. Don't worry about it. Thanks for calling and telling me. I'll email your teachers about it. Remind me your friends name?" She asked.

"Phil Lester." I answered.

"Thanks. See you Wednesday." She hung up the phone, and the line went dead. I pried the phone from the side of my face, and set it back on the side table.

"So?" Phil looked me deep in the eyes.

"We're all good to go back Wednesday." I spoke, and Phil smiled.

"Awesome. So what I'm thinking, Dan, is that we spend the rest of today and tomorrow trying to sort my parents out. They had no right to make you feel like you wanted to hurt yourself. If they are going to be a barrier for us, I won't associate with them anymore." Phil boldly stated.

"That sounds like a plan." I agreed. Phil randomly threw me into a bear hug, squeezing me tightly over my shoulders. I wrapped my arms around his waist slowly, but squeezed with all my might. Phil was a damn good hugger. It felt like he was never going to let go, and I never wanted him to.