im here // phan

fourteen

What was I️ going to do now? I️ lost my dad. At least I️ got to talk to him about me liking boys. He approved, and that was really all I️ was looking for. Although it would have been nice to have him around and have him to go to. I️ wish had come to see him earlier. I️ wish I️ had contacted him sooner. Now, I'm drowning in my own tears. There was only one thing left to do. I️ ran down the stairs, and back to the door of Phil's room. The window was blocked. Interesting...I️ knocked on the door, and a little red-head nurse slipped out.

"He's in surgery. You'll have to come back in about 5 hours, pal." She walked right past me as she spoke. I️ rubbed my blood-shot eyes, and sat down in front of the door to Phil's hospital room. Of course when I️ need him, he's in surgery. Well, who else? I️ could call my mum. I'm bored. I️ could use a good yelling at. I️ pulled my cell out from my pocket. I️ dialed her number, which oddly I️ had memorized.

"Daniel? The hell is this for?" She scolded. It sounded just like her, and it was just was I️ expected.

"Hey, mum, sorry. I️ just wanted to let you know I️ saw dad today, in the hospital. He just...passed." I️ chocked out. Her side of the line went dry for a second.

"I...he...um..." she mumbled. I️ could tell she was upset whether she wanted me to know or not.

"It's okay to be upset." I️ explained.

"I'm not!" She snapped back at me. But, I️ heard a sniffle in the background.

"Dad was a big part of your life for a very long time. You parted ways because of different views. I️ understand that. But, you can still send condolences to him...to me." I️ said, trying to hide the fact that I️ was sobbing.

"Daniel, your father cared about you a lot, know that. But, I️ don't care about you!" Her tone changed from one sentence to the next.

"I️ just wanted to let you know." I️ sighed. "Also, there was something else I️ wanted to tell you."

"Oh?"

"I️ kissed a boy, and I️ liked it."

"DANIEL!"

"Sorry, not sorry."

"Don't sass me, mister!"

"Also, just wanted to let you know."

"I️ DON'T CARE!" She yelled, and hung up the phone, leaving me with an annoying buzzing noise. It was the absence of any comfort ringing in my head. So now I️ really didn't have anyone right now. Hopefully Phil would make it out fo surgery, because I️ needed him a lot right now.

I️ wondered if Phil's mum was here, so I️ decided to get up from outside Phil's hospital door, and go on a little search for her. I️ went back out to the lobby, and my adventure turned into a little stroll. Phil's mum was sitting right there along with his father, who I️ had only met during the move.

"Dan!" She said, standing up. I️ ran up to her, and hugged her really tight. She probably needed someone's warmth right now, and I️ was willing to share mine.

"Ms. Lester, it's good to see you." I️ said. I️ pulled back away from the hug, and we sat back down next to Mr. Lester.

"Did you get to see Phil before he went into surgery?" She asked. Her eyes began to well with tears.

"I️ did. I️ know Phil pretty well by now, and I️ know he can make it though this surgery. He's a strong man." I️ said. I️ rested my hand on hers for a brief second, then returned it to my lap.

"I'm not worried about him, I️ mean of course I️ am, but I️ believe in him too." She said, bobbing her head up and down. Mr. Lester looked as though he was going to pass out. I️ wasn't sure he believed in Phil. I️ knew in my heart, though, that Phil would make it.

"I️ just need him a lot right now." I️ confessed. The Lesters both lost all color.

"I️ was meaning to ask you...you and Phil...kissed?" Ms. Lester asked. My eyes widened. I️ thought of only one thing to do; own it, and be proud of it. I️ liked it. I️ was only worried what my parents would think. I️ was in the mist to questioning, but then I️ decided.

"I️ did. I️ liked it too. So did Phil. He kissed me actually." I️ boasted, and the Lesters locked eyes with each other. I️ should see the rage behind their eyes.

"We didn't get to see him before the damn crash! I️ wanted to whip his ass until he cried." Mr. Lester said aggressively.

"Mr. Lester...what's wrong with Phil kissing me?" I️ asked, quiet patiently for the situation.

"Why, you are a man! He is a man! He needs to kiss women, and only women." He said. I️ clenched my fists until my knuckles went white.

"There's a term for men liking men, its called being gay, Mr. Lester." I️ explained. My fists began to ache, so I️ released some tension.

"It's wrong, Dan. Don't you understand?" Ms. Lester said, her eyebrows raising.

"It's not wrong, Lester's. Listen to me. We can love who we want. Just because you guys are heterosexual doesn't mean you have to hate homosexuals!" I️ stood up angrily, throwing my hands in the air. "Don't even think about going near Phil when he gets out of surgery! Unless you have something nice to say to him, otherwise, I'm assisting him to my car and I'm driving him back home. To our home. Fuck off."

"Rude!" Ms. Lester yelled.

"You don't even deserve our boy!" Mr. Lester said.

"Hell yes I️ deserve him. You are the ones that don't deserve him." I️ yelled.

"We are his parents!" They shouted in unison.

"I️ am going to go plop my ass outside his hospital door, and wait for him. And you, oh and you, I️ suggest you get your lazy asses into you car and drive back home. I️ will be explaining all of this to Phil and he will not want to see you. Guarantee it." I️ stormed off.

The Lesters were silent, but this disobeyed me, staying seated.

"That's your mistake."