im here // phan

thirteen

"No, what happened to you?" I️ ran up to him, and squatted next to him. Our faces were close again.

"I️ was in the middle of the crash, so the cars behind me crashed me into the cars in front of me. It was a disaster. I️ thought I️ was in heaven. But I'm still in hell." His voice was soft.

"I'm so glad your, your okay!" I️ cried, feeling the tears well up in my eyes.

"I️ figured you would be here, because I️ knew you wouldn't go to your mom, so I️ figured you would see your dad. I️ had the doctor call for you because I️ want to see you before I️ die, Dan." He whimpered.

"Phil, you are not going to die! Not while I'm here, no..." I️ whispered, grabbing hold of his hands. He queened as hard as he could, which was not very hard at all.

"You should hear how much damage I've had to my body, Dan. Then you would be on my side." He spoke quietly.

"I️ don't care if you broke all the bones in your body, I️ won't let you die!" I️ exclaimed. Phil took a deep breath.

"It's nice to know you have hope. Well did you see my mum? I️ could hear her from here." He said grinning.

"That's who it was! I️ couldn't figure it out." I️ realized. "They wouldn't let her in, which is funny, because they let me back here."

"I️ requested your presence here, Dan. I'm not going to die without you." He flashed a quick smile, but his eyes fell lifeless again.

"You aren't going to die! I, I️ won't allow it!" I️ pursed my lips. A single tear rolled out my right eye.

"Don't cry over me, Dan. Try and act like we never met. We just had a fight anyways, and I'm sorry I️ kissed you. It was wrong. I️ just had to." He confessed.

"I️ can't act like we never met, Phil! I️ would be dead without you. I️ would have killed myself by now, and don't be sorry about kissing me! I️ liked it! I️ was just nervous and worried what my mum and dad would think!" I️ cried. Phil's face lit up with joy. He began to cry as well.

"I'm sorry that I️ thought you were mad at me. I️ was never mad at you, only sad without you. I️ don't know why I️ left. I️ should have ignored what you said, and stayed with you. I️ wouldn't be a dead man if I️ didn't listen to you." He joked.

"Phil, not funny right now!" I️ wiped the tears from under my eyes.

"Kiss me, well, I️, I️ mean if you, if you want to." He stumbled, his eyes glittering from the tears.

"I️ want to kiss you. But, I️ need to see my dad first. I️ need to talk to him, and then I'll come back, and I'll kiss you." I️ squeezed his hands extra tight, then released him, and I️ walked out the door. I️ asked the doctor which room my dad was in, and she pointed me down the hall and up the stairs. I️ sprinted down the hall, avoiding people, and skipped one step on the way up. I️ saw my dad through the window. His face was drained of all color, and I️ had his hair, and his eyes. I️ walked into the door, and his eyes lit up.

"Daniel?" He inquired.

"It's me, dad." I️ instantly ran up to him, and kissed him on the forehead.

"It's been too long without you, son." He grinned.

"Dad, I️ love you so much, so I️ need your advice." I️ spoke a bit too loudly.

"That's what I'm here for, Daniel. Shoot." He gushed.

"Mum would beat me if I️ said this, but, I️ kissed a boy. I️ didn't not like it." I️ confessed, my hands beginning to shake.

"Daniel! Why would she beat you for that? It's human, son. You like boys, and I can't see anything wrong with it." He burst. I️ had never seen him so happy, from what I️ had seen of him at all.

"She beats me if I️ breath wrong, dad. Thats why I️ moved out of her house. I️ got a flat with Phil Lester. He's the boy I️ like, dad." I️ began to explain everything he missed.

"How are you, are you holding up okay?" He asked.

"Physically and mentally, I'm not in the right place. But Phil, I️ can't even begin to explain how much he saved me. I️ was cutting, and he stopped me. I️ was going to end my life right then dad, but he helped me. The depression hasn't gotten much better, and I'm still taking the medication. That made me put of weight, so mum hit me until I️ would work out. That's why I️'m so fit." I️ spilled.

"She needs to leave you alone. If she hits you, call me right away. I️ do have a phone in here, and I️ will gladly give you the number." He chirped. I️ loved hearing his voice again.

"Thank you, dad." I️ bubbled. I️ placed another gentle kiss on his forehead.

"Anything for you s—" He stopped talking abruptly. His face became pale and lifeless. He began to cough vigorously.

"DOCTOR! HEY!" I️ yelled at the top of my lungs, and instantly, a doctor rushed in, and began to mess with a bunch of machines next to him. There were so many wires and tubes everywhere. But he was still coughing. A lot. I️ didn't know whether to remain calm or freak out, so I️ decided to leave the room, and I️ slid down the wall and plopped myself onto the floor. Just when I️ got to see him again, he's going to be gone. And I️ might loose Phil, too!

"We need more nurses in here, more nurses!" The doctor called out. I️ didn't even know what do to at all. Should I️ run and tell Phil? Should I️ wait for my dad's verdict? Too much was running through my brain, so I️ went with sitting outside the door and sobbing.

"Coming, coming!" Frantic nurses called out, shuffling past me into the room. I️ still heard my dad wheezing, trying to hold onto life, but I️ figured there was one thing I️ could do. I️ stood back up, took a deep breath, and walked back into the room. It was crowded with doctors and nurses, but I️ managed to squeeze through and get to my dad.

"Someone get him out of here!" The doctor called, pointing at me.

"No, please!" I️ cried. I️ resisted their pulls on my arm.

"I'm serious!" The doctor commanded, and the nurses pulled harder on my arms.

"Dad, dad listen to me! I️ love you! I️ know that you love me too, and I️ just want you to know you can let go. It's okay. Don't hold on for me," the nurses pulled harder on my arms, "please, I️ know pain. It's okay to let go. Heaven is painless." I️ sobbed.

"I️ NEED HIM OUT!" The doctor yelled, still trying to work on my dad.

"Don't stay for me, dad!" I️ called, and they had dragged me out the door, and slammed in in front of my face. My vision became blurry from the tears clouding my eyes, but I️ stood right at the door, watching as they pressed buttons and pulled wires and tubes and what not. It was too much to take in, so I️ turned my back to the door. The noise started to settle down, and a sweep of relief came over me. They had done it!

"Time of death, 15:23." The doctors soft voice went in my ears.

"Dad..."