Pyromantic

Secert Spills and Bad Deals

"Will you please stop licking my hand?!" you growled at your "best friend". You removed your hand from over her mouth, wiping off the slobber she had made onto her sleeve. "Honestly, what are you? Five?" she just fixed you with a mischievous grin. Crossing her arms in front of her.

"Well, yes," she supplied lazily, "but that's beside the point. Now," she then suddenly moved, trapping you between her and the wall, caging you with her arms. "Spill,"

"Spill what?" you asked innocently. Sure, you knew exactly what she was asking, but you were usually pretty oblivious. Maybe she would buy it this time. Instead, she fixed you with a hard gaze.

"You know exactly what I want you to spill," she jerked her chin towards the gym, "Is it hot stuff or bone daddy?" you couldn't help but deadpan and then laugh at that.

"You already have code names?!" just like Vunde.

"Shush!" she put a finger to your lips, "Getting off topic! Now, this is important!" she took her hand away. "Which one is yours?"

"Pfft, why?" you put some sass in your voice, "You interested or something?" you were joking, but the faltering smirk told you that you had hit something. "Motherfuck- you are!" you playfully poked her in the chest. "Wait- which one?"

"Nuh-uh," she shook her head, "You first, though I'm pretty sure I know which one."

"Why does it have to be either? I haven't even known either of them for a week!"

"Wait," she began, arching an eyebrow, "How did you meet them? They don't seem like your usual crowd, and honestly you never go out anywhere anymore." Fuck.

"Oh, hahah," you began, "It's actually, kinda a funny story..." and so you told her all about the bad day, which led to a very bad night, but then turned into you meeting Sans, and in turn, Grillby. You went on to tell her about what happened with your work and your mom, and then led all the way into getting hired on at Grillby's, which put you up to now. "... And that," you huffed out finally, "Is how I met those two."

When you were done she looked to be processing everything. You knew how she felt about your fire affinity- about the same way she felt about your bee affinity, and she hated bees- so you were worried she would be mad at you. Though, you were relieved when she hugged you tightly.

"I'm sorry that happened to you," She pulled back, "But, you did get two dudes out of it, so, hey."

"Omigod," you pushed her off of you the rest of the way, rolling your eyes, "You absolute dork," you looked at her happily though, giving her a real smile in return of hers. "I love you, man."

She placed a hand on your shoulder, giving you a pat, "I love you, too, man," you pulled her into another hug.

"We are sooooooo gay," you said after a moment, feeling content. "No homo- ow!" you exclaimed mid sentence, "Did you just pinch my ass?!"

"All the homo," was her only reply as she whispered it in your ear.

Man, Vunde sure was one of a kind- and your one true best friend.

You both broke out of the embrace after a moment of quiet.

"So," Vunde began, "Who you got it for? The tall hot one or the short boney one?"

"Ughhhhh," you face palmed, "Why did you have to ruin a nice moment?" she just rolled her eyes at you. "Fine," you huffed, "But, only if you tell me yours, too."

"Pfft, fine. Same time?" you nodded. "Okay, on your mark, get set, go- Sans,"

"Grillby,"

*Grillby & Sans*

"i call dibs," Sans stated bluntly out of the blue.

"What?" Grillby asked, quizzically.

"dibs," Sans supplied casually, "i call them."

"On what?"

"the cute one," Sans shrugged, "what else would i be callin' dibs on?"

"Are you referring to (y/n) or Vunde?"

"who do you think I'm talkin' about, grillbz?"

"How should I know? I can't, nor would I want to, read what's in that thick skull of yours."

"who do you think is the cuter of the two: (y/n) or vunde?"

The skeleton was obviously baiting the elemental, and Grillby knew it, too. But, still, the first thing that showed up in his mind when asked made him blush. Sans noticed this, nudging his friend in the arm teasingly.

"who'd you think of?"

"They're both equally beautiful in their own ways,"

"c'mon, grillbz," Sans nudged Grillby again, "you can tell me. i promise i won't tell anyone else,"

"I don't have to tell you anything. Oh, except for maybe..." Grillby leaned down to look Sans in the eye sockets. "Pay your fucking tab." And with that he stood back up straight.

"i will," this made Grillby's head whip towards the skeleton, "pay sum of it off, if," he raised a single bony finger, "you tell me who you think is cuter,"

"What is this? The playground?" Grillby was both flustered, annoyed, and slightly intrigued. "How much will you pay off?"

"one-fifth of my tab,"

"One-fourth, and you might have a deal,"

"fine, one-fourth, if you tell me who you think is cuter, and if you take them on a date in the next few weeks," Sans haggled.

"You're being unreasonable,"

"how?"

"What if they don't want to?"

"i'll pay off half out of pity,"

This was honestly too good a deal to pass up, yet Grillby still hesitated.

'Pros: Sans pays off most his tab either way, doubly so if things don't work out, and if they do, that will be an interesting venture. Cons: Things could not work out.' thought Grillby.

After a moment of silence, Grillby thrust out his hand toward Sans.

"I will tell you who I think is 'cuter', and attempt to take them on a date within two months, because these things take time, if you pay off three-fourths of your tab, and tell me who you think is cuter," Grillby explained with some adjustments, "Deal?"

Sans thought it over maybe two seconds before he placed his hand in Grillby's, gave him a Cheshire smile.

"deal."

Grillby felt like he might have just made a mistake, but brushed it off.

"on three we both tell?" Grillby nodded. "okay," Sans took an unneeded breath, "one.... two... three- vunde,"

"(Y/n),"