*Wow so soz I havent updated in a while oh wow I have no excuse Im just procrastinating and my laptop broke so my screen is fucked. Girl in the pic is the mystery girl.*
Ashton is freaking out. He doesn't know whether to go or not. He really doesn't. See, he got a letter. Said letter read, 'Meet me at the park at 12. It's important. Come alone. Signed, Anon.' It was the same girl. And Ashton knows he has to go. The curiosity is eating him alive, and it needs to stop. So he gets dressed at 11:45 and he walks down to the park, the cold night air chilling him to the bone, along with the terror of meeting this girl. The only comfort is the weight of his phone in his hoodie pocket. He keeps his hands tucked in there, rolling the phone around in his hands. He waits on the swingset the moment he arrives, 11:50, and the swing next to him creaks eerily as it moves in the wind. He feels like screaming and calling Luke but he knows he can't. So he waits and watches and shivers and he wants to cry but he can't because the girl might be anywhere and crying is a weakness. And he's not going to show any weakness because she could take advantage of him. At 12 AM exactly he hears the bushes behind him rumble and he jumps up, almost falling face first into the sand. "Oh good, little Ashy came," the girl chimes. Her voice is deceivingly sweet and calming, crisp and clear like the night air. And when she walks out of the shadows, her appearance is the same way. She has blonde hair that's thick, curly and long and looks like it would be soft to the touch. Her face is gentle looking, with a small nose and full lips covered in blood red lipstick that sticks out against her pale skin. Her eyes are a beautiful blue, like Lukes, except colder, and they're lined with dark eyeliner, creating the perfect cat eye look. She's short and skinny and she's wearing an oversized sweater and she looks fucking adorable and innocent and sweet that Ashton almost thinks it's the wrong girl but judging by the way she says his name, he knows it's the right one. He stands up straight and sticks his chin out and asks "What do you want with me?" And he thinks the words come out in a confident, collected voice but considering the way his hands shake and his throat feels tight and his eyes sting, he knows she can sense his fear. The girl laughs and it's sweet and funny but doesn't really sound like bells tingling. It's more innocent and like a cough and a snort but it fits her. Or Ashton thinks it would if he didn't know what her actual personality was like. "Oh Ashton you're so cute. You should know what I want." The smile instantly drops from her face and she stands up straight and if Ashton was terrified before then he needs to make up a new word for the fear he feels now. He knows he's bigger and stronger but he also knows this girl holds the advantage and that he'd never hit a girl. He also knows how how scared of the dark he is and how this girl makes him cut and he knows he'll have a panic attack in about 0.2 seconds, but there is absolutely nothing he can do about it. So he sits and he waits. "Break up with him." The girl tells him and Ashton's heart literally stops and he can feel it drop into his stomach, so much that he actually has to pinch himself hard enough to draw blood to start breathing again. "What- what do you mean?" he stutters out and he knows that he's fucked it up and that she knows now even if she was lying before. "Break up with Luke. Do I have to spell it out for you? Here's the deal, Irwin. You break up with him, or I do it for you. I will fucking tear you two apart, Ashton Irwin. I will do everything I can. And I'll tell everyone about you two. I'll tell Luke you're cheating on him. I'll beat you till you agree. I'll make Luke fall in love with me. I will never stop sending you messages and torturing you. So it is your choice. Do it or I will." She hisses out the last part and Ashton is breathing heavily, clenching and unclenching his fists and panicking on the inside, but he refuses to let her know. Or he tries not to and he thinks he's succeeding but really all he wants to do is feel the warmth of blood running down his wrist. "I'm giving you a week Ashton. So get on it. Oh, and try not to hurt him too much. I don't like damaged goods." She winks and smirks before flashing her eyes down to Ashtons wrist and then she's gone again.
Ashton barely makes it home in one piece. He's shaking and crying and he can't stop thinking and breathing and panicking. His chest is tight and everything hurts. So he goes into his room and finds the blade that's taped behind his bed before walking into the bathroom.
*Warning: This might be triggering. I do not want you to get triggered, so just ask me what happens if you want to know because this part will be in detail. However, there will also be an important part so just ask me and I'll give you the briefing. You have been warned.*
He starts above the recent cuts. They're small and not very deep but the warmth of the blood is nice against his skin and he likes watching it drip onto the white floor below him, turning it red. But soon it's not enough. He starts carefully tracing his previous cuts, turning the healed white scars red and it's all blood and tears and cuts. And he covers his whole arm, being careful to make sure the razor goes directly over the previous ones. He carves letters and pictures and words and phrases. And he's screaming and crying and bleeding but he doesn't care and he's watching the floor stain red and the lights flicker once and soon everything becomes one and it's just colors and blood and cuts and crying and screaming and bloodbloodblood until it gets jumbled to colorsbloodscreamstearscrying. And then it repeats, again and again and again and againagainagainagain. And then it stops. The razor drops from his numb hands and his tears try desperately to clean the floor but there's just too much blood. So he screams and screams and screams. Both of his arms are red and painful and Ashton just wants it to stop but he doesn't know how and he just lays in his small pool of blood and cries until he passes out. But then he's awake again and a voice joins his but Ashton can't see and he can barely hear but he thinks it's calling his name. And his screams are making it more unintelligible and the feeling of painpainpain is clouding his vision and he just doesnt know. But he knows he's fucked up way too much because someone's dragging him into his arms and tears mingle with his own and there's so much pain and crying and screaming and Ashton doesn't know how much more he can take of it before he finally passes out and it's sweet bliss.
*Okay its over. I hope none of you got triggered if you read it.*
He wakes in a hospital bed. His arms ache and his throat is raw and his eyes sting. There are fresh bandages on his arms that make him itch and he sits up frantically before he yells in pain. "Dont." A voice cracks next to him and he whips his head towards it but that hurts too much so he lies back down. He's not really surprised to see Luke there, but what state the boy's in does surprise him. His hair is limp and greasy. His clothes are wrinkled and have blood covering them. Ashton can smell him from where he's lying. His cheeks are wet with tears and his eyes are so red that if the blue wasn't so dark and sad then they'd stick out and look gorgeous. Ashton wants to cry just at the sight of him. So he does. And Luke's jumping up and running over to his bed. He sits on the edge, as close to Ashton as he can get and lies down and pulls him into his chest and Ashton just cries. He tries to talk but it hurts so bad he can't do it. Ashton knows what he has to do to Luke and it makes him cry worse and his arms shake so bad it hurts. "What day is it?" He manages to croak but it hurts so bad he cries more. "It's Thursday." Ashton talked to the girl on Monday. He's been asleep for three days. He has a few days left., But he's not stringing it out. So he sits up despite the pain and he huddles in closer to himself, curling into a ball, trying to protect himself. He keeps repeating that he's sorry and he works through the pain until finally Luke asks why he's sorry. Ashton can barely get the words out between the lump in his raw throat and his trembling voice and he actually wants to throw up and he thinks he's going to. "I want to break up." He sobs harshly and gags and coughs and ignores the pain. "I can't take it and I'm sorry and I'm so fucking sorry, Lucas. I love you so damn much and I'm sorry." He's trembling so much the bed shakes and it takes Luke a minute to decipher what he's just said through the tears. Ashton grabs a bucket that's next to his bed and throws up harshly into it. Luke rubs his back and makes everything worse. "Shh, its okay babe." Ashton jerks away from him and hears his heart monitor go up. "Leave me alone! Please just leave me alone. I want to end it. I want to be done with you. I can't take it!" He screams. "I Hate you so damn much, Luke. I don't want to talk to you. I want you to leave!" Lies lies lies lies lies and he knows it but he needs Luke to leave and he throws up again and when he looks up Luke's gone. He screams into the empty room and his heart beat rises so fast that the doctors have to come in and he's sedated and he cries until he falls asleep.
*Literally longest chapter I have ever wrote its almost 2,000 words and holy shit its fucking sad I made myself sad I hope I did the same for you. 15 likes till next chapter and 2 comments. Also Im getting my friend to beta this so thanks boo your a doll uwu muah. Love all y'all, have an amazing day*
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My little drummer boy *Lashton*
फैनफिक्शनLuke is in love with Ashton. It slowly consumes his life until all he can think of is the little drummer boy. Hes distant and he messes up his lines, all the while trying to seem normal and keep his friendship with Ashton going strong. What happens...
