Unusual

Really knowing

Butters he's alright, informed me that he that his dad didn't do much. Now he's grounded and he wouldn't stop apologizing. Not like it is his fault. It was mine. I couldn't help feel bad for him. I wish I could go talk to him. Poor Butters, he is really innocent and not well taught. I wonder if he would know what to do. He's smart knows a lot and seems to have more common sense than most people in this damn town. Always pointing out things no other fucking moron in this place had thought of. Maybe I can talk to him and ask him what to do. 

Token nudged me "You 'kay dude? Your phones been going off." I blinked my phone? I looked down at it. I was being spammed by Stan. I stared at the messages. "Fuck, I gotta go guys sorry!" Craig cocked and eyebrow. We were littered about his living room watching a movie. Token had refused to let me out of his sight. Now he squinted at me as I stood. Grabbing my parka from the coat hanger and heading toward the door. "Where are you going?" Clyde questioned hugging close a pillow from the couch. "Stan needs me for some reason. I'll see what happens." Craig chuckled "I fucking knew Kenny was gay for Stan." I huffed pulling the hood over my head and rushing outside and toward Stan's. 

I got to the front door and was stopped from entering when a bottle hit against my head. "Fuck!" I looked up and saw Stan shacking his and put a finger to his lips. He pointed toward something leaning on the fence near by. I squinted my eyes and walked through the snow to it. A ladder, a ladder leaned on the fence. What? He wanted me to climb in his window? I looked back to Stan and pointed to the ladder. He nodded and backed away from the window. I waddled over and grabbed the ladder pulling it out and dragged it to the window. I looked up to his bedroom window. Sighing hoping I didn't fall and die from this damn icy ladder. I climbed up and struggled to get through landing and rolling before stopping and looking up at the ceiling. "You made it!" He whispered crawling to me laying next to me. "Thank you." he mumbled. His voice sounded slurred. Rolling to look at me I mimicked and look and him in the dark room. He sniffled "God damn it Kenny she did it again. Messed with my heart and crushed it underneath her foot. I feel almost feel shity enough to become goth again. At least there my heart didn't feel like a black hole." I could barely make out him covering his face with his hands muffling a sob. 

"Oh please don't cry Stan." I sat up pulling him with me. Holding his shoulders and making him look at me. "She doesn't deserve you. You can't let her keep coming back. This has to be the last time." He sobbed gripping his hair pulling a it. "She was my everything Kenny! I don't if I want to pretend being happy. Kyle won't talk to me either and I can't think of why." A choking noise came from him. Oh no this is really bad. I'm not good with feelings. Lust maybe but feelings of depression and self hatred is beyond me. Not like I could ever fix it in myslef. How could I help others? I searched around the dark room seeing shadows of bottles. I assumed it was probably alcohol. "Stan I. . " I couldn't say more before he cut me off "Or maybe be emo as they call it and with I was dead." He paused tugging more at his dark hair. "Please Stan people want you alive." He cut me off again "I know Kyle doesn't care neither does Cartman or. . or . . Her." He hugged himself. He was distraught. I can't think of anything to help. I chewed on my lip. Fucking damn it. I grabbed Stan's shaking sobbing form and pulled him against me. Pulling his arms from himself and holding him. Stan continued to cry shaking against me. Mumbling about what Wendy did and how Kyle wouldn't talk to him. Not even to explain why his was mad. "Now listen here Stanley." I was trying to be stern but gentle "You can't let her do this to you again. You also can't let one girl make you want to die. It is you life and it is not defined by her. It's yours and her leaving isn't more than a road bump." I nodded my head. Yeah, good job Kenny those words sound almost encouraging. I heard him try to laugh hiccuping. "Wow what wise words coming from you McCormick." I snorted "You need it little goth." He coughed I knew he was still crying but at least he was a little happier. His arms gripped at my back sitting in my lap nuzzling his face into my neck. I could feel my face heating up. He sniffled again I could feel the wetness from his tears on my neck. He continued to mumble about Kyle though. "Have you asked why he is so mad?" He shook his head " He said I would know and didn't want to explain something so simple to me." He spat the last words pulling away from my neck and rubbing his face. "He talked to me like I was a fool!" He grabbed the sides of my face pushing his nose to mine. I could my face flush. "Than he acted like I should know why he's mad. Even had the audacity to tell me to just ask Wendy." His words were toxic. He let go of me and used his hands for empathizes. "Kyle thinks he's all high and mighty. Just because he is smart and knows things he thinks he can just do what he wants." His hands were on his hips as he mocked the shorter red head. "You guys know nothing and are raised by idiots who don't know what proper child raising is." Stan's words were cut short as he sobbed. "Damn it maybe he was right." He slouched leaning his forehead to mine and rubbing vigorously at his eyes. I blinked wrapping my arms around his waist. Sighing I shook my head "Even if he his Stan, Your parents don't define you." I paused trying to chose my words very carefully. Before I could go on he huffed "It really hurts to hear those things from your best friend though. He always felt like a brother to me and to here him call me stupid hurts." I rubbed my thumbs in circles on his hips "Of course it dose Stan. I think it'l fine though. He doesn't stay this mad for long. He squirmed slightly in my lap. 

He sniffled "Yeah you're right Ken. Ju. . just I want to feel better." I paused and thought was this a good idea McCormick? My heart throbbed, and I bit my lip. "I can make you feel better. Maybe just for a little." I purred holding him closer. "What? Like how Kenny?" I smirked, hope this will help. "Let me show you."  It might be dark but I could still so this. I leaned toward him and pushed my lips to his. He didn't resist licking my bottom lip asking for permission. I granted it our tongues struggled for dominance. Mine won, I ran my hands along his body. Breaking the kiss to take off his shirt. Stan gave a breathy moan as I bit at his neck. "Fuck, Kenny!" I pushed him down against the ground hovering over him. I stayed for a second before straddling him and taking off what clothes I could. Stan purred sitting up and kissing my neck. I smiled holding his face and bringing it to mine. "Ready pretty boy?" He chuckled wrapping his arms around me kissing me roughly. Pulling away and huskily whispering to me. "When ever you are Fuck boy." 

It was rough. Heh never thought someone like Stan would be into that. Felt weird to being doing something like this to him. He was great though. Fuck, people were right I'm nothing but a man slut. Doing anything to get off. He probably wouldn't ever take me like this. God, I'm a mess. A sex addict, an asshole, always dying. Sweet Jesus I need help. I'm sorry, I don't know if I'll ever get to my goal. Whatever that goal might be. I'm also so sorry to Butters and Stan for getting them into this.