Unusual

The start

 I usually didn't arrive late to the bus stop. It wasn't normal. The days never started with me running to try and catch the Damn bus as my 'friends' already on and sat down. I wasn't used to walking in the blistering cold. Wind biting at my eyes as I tried to get to school on time. I could almost hear Cartman's mockery, and could see kyle's sympathy while he went along, trying his best not to stand out. I could hear Stan's snicker and sarcastic questions as I walked in.

The heated air felt nice as I walked to school. I Hesitated at the door. If only for a moment before pushing my way in. I sat down in my usual seat. Tuning out the teacher. Before I could try and tune out everything else I was roped into Cartman's shenanigans. Not that I minded too much. It was better than listening to the lecture "Hey Kinney why weren't you at the bus stop?" he smirked leaning on his arm and staring at me contemptibly. I coughed mumbling "I woke up late". He raised and eyebrow "What was that? I couldn't hear you." I spoke louder "I woke up late. Okay, fuck whatever Fatass." "Hey! I'm not fat I'm big Boned!" Eric banged his hands on his desk. Stan rolled his eyes "That's what you always say." I could hear Kyle chuckle. Cartman crossed his arms "What so funny Jew!" Kyle looked over at Cartman. After years of people making fun of his religion he seems not care anymore. "You are Eric. You making a scene just cause someone called you fat. Not like Kennys lying anyway." He huffed in response. Not wanting to keep talking about Cartman Stan attempted to change the subject. "How come you slept in late? It doesn't seem like you Kenny." He seemed really curious. So did Kyle though Cartman honestly couldn't care less. I had lied though, I hadn't slept in I was avoiding someone. Though looking back if I wanted to avoid them I should've just stayed home. Instead of telling them the truth I shrugged "Tired I guess, you know staying up late banging people takes energy." I smirked. 'Perfect cover Kenny they'll believe that'. Wrong, they seemed skeptical but before they could question me the bell rang to go to the next class.

I didn't feel like I usually did. I normally didn't catch feelings people here in South Park. There have been exceptions of course. It just normally wasn't of the same gender. Most of the time I'm attracted to girls or guys dressed and acting like girls. This, this wasn't like me. I liked him and I knew it. I would stare at him, I will think about him. Being around him made my face heat up and my hands go clammy. His voice gave me shivers, and his eyes trapped me. He had gorgeous eyes. Fuck. This wasn't okay. This can not be happening. Could it? Not like he feels the same. He has somebody. Somebody better, not perverted, not rude, not constantly dying. He had a girlfriend. Who is most definitely better than what I could offer.

I sighed shoving my hands in my pockets and walking to lunch to meet up with the gang. I got in line with them got food and sat down. This was normal. We ate lunch together at the same table everyday. Cartman looked at my tray than to me. "You gonna eat that?" I shook my head the thought of food making my stomach churn. He grinned sliding over the tray of food and wolfing it down. "Geez slow down fatass. You're going choke." Stan remarked watching Cartman in disgust. "Wow I think that's a new record for you Cartman." Kyle mocked as Eric scoffed getting up to throw the trash away. Lunch continued like that. Light to moderate banter, before Kyle and Stan were dragged off with Bebe and Wendy. Leaving me and Fatass. "Pft not like we need them anyway right Kenny?" He nudged my arm. I shrugged him off not feeling up to his bullshit. "What? Do all poor people act like wet blankets when someone hurts there feelings?" I sighed at his jab to my finical situation. "What and is every fatass a racist anti Semitic asshole?" I got up from the table sped walked away before I could hear his response not willing to deal with him anymore. Not today, because I wasn't myself. I felt unusual.

Unusual, yeah maybe that is a good way to describe this. Love, could work. It seems a little extreme though. Yeah I've know him since Elementary school, but love? No, maybe crush or infatuation. Not love though. Right? Love is. . . What is love? Do I know? Could it be defined? This isn't me. He makes me think. He makes me question everything I've know. I crave his touch. I yearn for his affection, attention, anything really. I want him. Him. . . yeah him.