Tabula Rasa ~TW/TO~ Lahey

Chapter 15: You have me

The past twenty-four hours have been a roller coaster; Lydia's party, Boyd and Erica wolfing out, Isaac kissing me and using me as his anchor, being paralyzed at the sheriff's station then later stranded, and now Isaac telling me he is leaving town with Erica and Boyd.

When I arrived at the depot, I found the three betas back to their human selves and passed out in the cart. Derek hadn't come back, and later in the day before Boyd and Erica left, Erica had informed me that he went to visit his old house located in the woods, but I don't care where he is. My main focus is now on the boy standing in front of me. He is really thinking of leaving Beacon Hills.

My face stays straight throughout this news, but on the inside I'm disappointed. He's the only person here that doesn't annoy me or he knows the right things to say to me because he understands me. Everyone else doesn't matter like him. He has somehow wiggled his way into my thoughts and it continues to grow.

Asking him to stay is out of the question, though. I can't ask him to not leave because I want him here. That's something he needs to decide for himself. I can't be selfish with him. Besides, maybe this will be a good thing. He won't be near me, meaning he wouldn't be dragged into my family's issues or be in any danger because of me. I'm the one that agreed to place space between us and I need to stick to it.

"They're leaving tonight, during the game," he says as he stares at the floor. He has rarely looked into my eyes once since he started this conversation and his heartbeat is slightly faster than normal. He's nervous.

"Why are you telling me this?" I ask. I don't want to sound interested in his plans because I don't want him to think I care like I really do. I didn't care if Boyd and Erica left, but Isaac...I don't want him to go. I want to shout it out to him, but this is for the better. Derek is giving them the cold shoulder like he's me, and they don't deserve an alpha like that. In fact, they should migrate to Scott's pack instead of Scott migrating to Derek's.

He may not be an alpha, but he is a better leader than Derek will ever be. If Isaac were to join Scott's pack, that would mean he'd stay in this town and I'm not sure that he wants to stay. Or maybe he does and he is just looking for a reason...

I've come to terms that I fancy him, but I can't do anything about it. He'd end up like all of Rebekah's past boyfriends; Dead. I don't want that for him. Besides, I don't know anything about relationships or feelings and I would somehow screw things up. He's better off finding someone else and I can live with that. I've stayed away from men this long. What makes Isaac any different?

"I thought maybe you'd like to go with us..." he shrugs.

"No," I respond shaking my head. I can't leave here. Not after promising Kol I'd stay and telling Derek I'd help him with the Kanima dilemma. This is my safe house and if I leave, Niklaus can potentially hear of my whereabouts and I can't have that. So far, this place has kept the secret of my existence and I intend to keep it that way.

He looks to his left, avoiding eye contact with me still. He can't be upset with me, though. I have my reasons for staying. But what are his reasons for leaving? What made him decide to just up and leave? Because Boyd and Erica are doing it and they talked him into it? Or because he really wants to start fresh someplace else? Or did our kiss have anything to do with it?

"Isaac, be honest with me," I say to him when he doesn't respond to my answer. "Why do you want to leave?"

"I don't have a reason to stay. I don't have anyone..." he answers. Maybe he doesn't. His father was recently murdered, not that he didn't deserve it, and as for his brother, he's long gone, too. On my first day of seeing him at school, Isaac was a loner. No friends, no nothing. Then he gained a pack. Sure, Derek is giving them the cold shoulder, but he isn't alone in this world. And the fact that he doesn't see that pisses me off.