A Kiss and I Will Surrender

What Does All of This Mean

"Frank! Frank!" Opening his eyes slowly, Frank woke up to Mikey shaking him.

"Wha-What happened?" Frank asked, trying to clear his throat as he tried to wake himself up.

"It's Gerard-"

"Is he okay?" Frank shot up in bed and ripped the covers off, his eyes widening.

"He just had a night terror but I sorted it out, but then when I was trying to get him to fall asleep again he refused to go to sleep unless you went to go talk to him." Mikey said, looking very worn out and slightly irritable.

Frank's brows creased together as he tried to think of any logical explanation for Gerard wanting to talk to him specifically. "Oh okay." Frank followed Mikey into his room where Gerard was lying in the bed, looking dazed and half asleep.

"Frank!" Gerard exclaimed, whipping his head in Frank and Mikey's direction. "You can go to bed, Mikey." Gerard mumbled.

"Um...this is my bedroom." Mikey frowned.

"Please can you just sleep in my bed tonight, I need to talk to Frank about something important." Gerard said, the way he was slurring his words made him sound drunk but he was just in a hypnagogic state.

Mikey huffed. "Watch it, short man."

Frank nodded and watched as Mikey left, closing the door behind him. Frank turned his attention back to Gerard, who was lifting up the blanket and indicating for Frank to join him in the bed. Frank didn't want to anger Gerard by touching him so he slipped under the covers but stayed on the opposite side of the bed from Gerard. But Gerard wasn't having this and Frank died inside when he saw Gerard scoot over in the bed and snuggle right up against Frank's side. Gerard even hooked his leg over Frank's legs and wrapped his arm around Frank's waist so he was almost on top of him.

Frank silently yelled at himself to calm down, they'd cuddled before, but then again this was the same Gerard who had shouted at him a few hours ago.

"Frank, I'm sorry I'm so difficult." Gerard mumbled into Frank's neck.

"You're not difficult." Frank insisted, loving the feeling of Gerard's warm breath on his skin.

"But I am, I was so horrible to you even though all you did was compliment my art. And you're always so nice even when I'm a brat."

"It was stupid of me to look at your book without your permission, and you're not a brat." Frank whispered.

"See? You're always nice no matter what, you're not like Bert." Gerard yawned loudly in Frank's ear.

"Does this mean you do forgive me?" Frank asked hopefully.

"I think so, I was just overreacting earlier." Gerard said, Frank could hear Gerard was slowly drifting off to sleep again.

"Gerard, why do you let me touch you when you're like this but not during the day?"

"You're good cuddler and y'make me feel good." Gerard's improper sentence structure and slurred words alerted Frank that Gerard was in between sleep and being awake.

"But then why don't you let me touch you during the day?"

"Shhhh. Let m'sleep, talk in morning." Gerard muttered, clutching Frank tighter as he gave in to sleep.

As much as Frank wanted to stay awake so he could figure out his feelings about the whole situation, having Gerard's warm body against his was very soothing and sleep overtook his body a lot faster than expected.

Frank was only pulled out of sleep when he felt Gerard nuzzle his face in his neck and sigh loudly.

"Frank..." Gerard whispered, seeing if Frank was still awake.

"Yeah?"

Frank felt soft lips on his cheek and he  melted into the sensation as long as he could before Gerard moved his lips away and fell asleep again. Frank was in such a state of confusion and tiredness that he too fell asleep before he could actually think about what had happened.

~

Gerard woke up first and at first he was too disoriented to realize Frank's arm was loosely wrapped around his waist and their legs were tangled together under the sheets. When Gerard had taken a few seconds to wake up and he was able to think clearly, his eyes widened and he scrambled to get off Frank. All the sudden movement had caused Frank to wake up, sleep slowly fading away, Frank rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and gave Gerard a small smile. 

"G'morning." Frank said, stretching. Gerard just looked at him with a shocked expression.

"I didn't mean to kiss your cheek last night, it was a mistake." Gerard mumbled, chewing on his finger nails.

"So you do remember last night, interesting." Frank smirked slightly. "And you said we'll talk in the morning and it is the morning so let's talk."

Gerard bit his lip and looked down. "What's there to talk about?"

"Firstly, do you really forgive me because that'd be great. And secondly, why do let me cuddle with you and actually touch you when you're in a sleepy state but not any other time?" Frank sat up and rested against the headboard, Gerard sighed softly.

"I guess I kind of forgive you but that's mainly just because you're really nice to me even when you shouldn't be. And about the other thing...I guess...I don't know, you're really warm and nice to cuddle, you make me feel safe. But during the day I feel like you won't want to cuddle with me because I'm usually mean to you." Gerard's cheeks flushed scarlet to match Frank as they both blushed.

"You're not mean." Frank insisted.

"Okay. I just feel more protected when you're with me when I sleep." 

"Does that mean I can touch you now?" Frank asked, slowly looking into Gerard's eyes.

"Uh...slowly, you need to go little by little, like first just casually touch my arms then once I'm comfortable with that you can move on to other parts like my face. That's what I did with my family, but I'll probably be very wary and weird about it in the beginning because I'm not used to it." Gerard said, twirling a strand of his hair.

"It means a lot that you're okay with me doing it." Frank smiled kindly and for the first time since he had arrived at the cottage, Gerard smiled. It was nothing more than a small grin but it displayed a few of his small teeth and Frank wanted to just stare at Gerard's teeth for ages, even if that did sound a little bit creepy.

Mikey walked in, his hair messier than usual, and his glasses on the edge of his nose as usual. "Was everything okay here last night?"

"Yeah, hey Mikey, let's go get some breakfast. Gerard, you can join us if you want." Frank said, getting out of the bed.

"I'll just stay here because I'm still a bit tired, please bring be some breakfast though." Gerard said, shuffling under the blanket. Mikey looked at Frank with suspicion before heading to the kitchen with Frank.

"What did you do?" Mikey asked, tilting his head slightly.

"Did I do something wrong?" Frank asked, putting two slices of toast in the toaster.

"No, it's just...Gerard actually wants to eat and he looked happy." Mikey crossed his arms.

"Well we talked about some stuff and he said he forgives me and he's going to try and get used to me enough that I can touch him." 

Mikey's arms dropped to his sides and his mouth hung open in shock. "Gerard, Gerard Way, said you can touch him?"

"Yeah, what's the big deal?" Frank jumped onto the kitchen counter and sat on the counter with his legs dangling over the side.

"Frank, Gerard hasn't let anyone else besides my parents and I, not even his best friend Ray or his gran, touch him for a whole year."