Who are you?: Phan

36

Dan couldn't do this anymore. His father wished he was never born. His mum couldn't care any less about him. His brother was growing up without him and he just lost his best friend. This is why Dan never said anything to Phil. He knew something like this would happen.

Dan did the only thing he could think of in that moment. He ran towards the mountain that contained the cliffs. Was he going to jump off them? Dan didn't know yet. But he had a strong compulsion to do so.

Dan got to the cliff and he just sat at the end with his legs dangling off the side. Dan had never felt so peaceful. He was so contempt with being up here, metres into the sky with only a few centimetres to spare his life. Dan felt his eyes start tearing up and he didn't care. Here, alone, he could finally be himself without fear of being judged. Dan started crying and he punched the rocks underneath him with his now bleeding hands.

If only someone cared about Dan. Who do you turn to when the only person in the world that can stop you from crying, is exactly the one making you cry?

Dan loved Phil. He knew he did. He wanted to live with Phil. He wanted to live in an apartment with pictures of them together scattered around. He wanted to wake up next to Phil everyday. He wanted to kiss Phil's cheek and whisper good morning into his ear. He wanted to prepare Phil's breakfast and make him laugh. He wanted to tell him how much he loved Phil and how much he means to him. He wanted to watch anything on television just hugging Phil.

He wanted Phil.

But that's what the problem was. You don't always get what you want.

And Dan knew that better than anyone.