(Underfell sans x reader (female)) UNDERCOVER

He's such a loser

         I quickly think of something to say to cut the tension.

"You guys all look like you've seen death." I joke.

         Suddenly the whole place is filled with howls and roars of laughter and everyone goes back to the talkative crowd you first saw them as. I've never been in a bar, plus one that serves fast food. I walk over and sit in the farthest corner by the counter right near a destroyed jukebox. I set my suitcase down still holding onto the handle and giving a quick glance around the place before letting go. It took you a while to notice that the only heat source in the bar was the bartender himself. He looked like a mixture of dark blue and purple flames and quite built. 

         I was about to ask him for a drink but I didn't notice he was busy hosting a drinking competition between one of the dogs from the royal guard and another skeleton except this one was some how larger, also very tall but not as tall as the other skeleton that arm wrestled Undyne. They were on their last round of '167 Proof vodka'. The big white guardsmen dog looks like they were about to fall off their seat while the sharped tooth red faced skeleton is cheering himself on with a deep, and drunken slurred voice. The dog falls out of his seat as his other dog buddies catch him from behind as the skeleton gulps down the last of his shot.

"I w-wwwwoooooonnnn!!!" The bigger skeleton cheers as he slowly starts to fall off his seat and continues to fall and lands on his back with a big crash.

         The Bigger skeleton tries to get up but falls down every time he sits up until the taller one picks him up and places him on stool right next to you not caring if he falls off again and goes back to talking with Undyne and the rest of the royal guardsmen. 

         This guy is huge. Each stool had at least 15 inches apart from each other and he took all 15 inches on both sides, leaving you no space for comfort. He put's his head and arms down on the counter basically taking the rest of what I called space. I grumble and put my elbow on the farthest side of him while leaning far away as possible but never really getting away from him. The bartender noticed this and came over.

"Is this guy bothering you sir?" He says.

"How can a guy someone his size find condoms that actually fit?" 

         The bartender takes one look at me surprised and then laughs while trying not slam his hand too hard on the counter. That was my best dirty joke I had so i'm glad someone appreciated it. The fire dude clears some 'tears' from his white eyes and quickly cleans his spectacles.

"I can tell that you've never been around here and I've been here long enough to know that you're new, The name's Grillby but you can call me Grillbs." He says as he brings out his hand to shake.

         I shake his hand and made sure I had a firm grip just to express that i'm actually a 'man'. His hand surprisingly didn't catch me on fire. He smirks and looks a bit impressed of how calm I was about shaking his hand.

"My name's Arie." I say sternly.

"Ah, short for Aries the god of war?" Grillby asks.

"Uh yeah, you're the first to notice that." I say nervously.

         You actually didn't realize what your 'name' meant until now so that was useful information. You were about to reply to Grillby but was interrupted by the larger skeleton snoring and talking in his sleep. You both look at each other and try not to laugh at how big of a fool he was making of himself. Grillby walks over to the other side of the bar and grabs a mustard bottle with an evil grin on his face. He puts a finger up to his lips as he carefully brings the condiment closer to wear his nose should be. The larger skeleton's arm shoots up and grabs the mustard and immediately starts chugging straight from the bottle.

         Grillby didn't need to see your face, your reaction was enough for him. You put your hand to where your mouth would be and also trying not to gag. The larger skeleton shifts a bit in his seat moving you in the process. Grillby put's his hand over his mouth while clearing his throat obviously getting kick out of your annoyed tone to the skeleton slightly nudging you farther into the corner. You clear your throat loud enough for the big guy to hear and gave him one of your death glares. He looks down at you with an expression that shows he's only half aware of what he's doing and saying.

"oh...sorry miss." He says with a small burp.

I had to act pissed off that I was called 'miss' so I had to put on a good show of irritation and anger.

"What did you just call me?" I say it calmly but the angry type of calm.

The larger skeleton looks back my way but with a totally different expression of irritation while slightly squeezing the mustard bottle.

"i called you...oh." The skeleton realizes what he just said.

         Half of your pissed off attitude was genuine irritation which only helped you in this situation. You were tired, hungry, and had no place to sleep. The skeleton replies one last time and begins to sort of regret to doing so.

"well, you are kind of short for a guy." He shrugs and goes back to sipping the mustard.

You pull out your scythe and rammed the handle straight into his side causing him to choke on his mustard and fall off the stool. You smirk down at him.

"Who's the short one now!?! You're no better compared to Mr. Lamp post over there!" I yelled.

         The taller skeleton that wasn't  paying attention looked back a bit and became aware of the two monsters referring to him and continued on talking. The drunk skeleton on the ground get's up and snaps back.

"that lamp post you're talking about is my brother Papyrus." He says obviously still drunk.

You look at him and then Papyrus who now has your full attention and so does the rest of the bar. You try your hardest to hold back your laughter.

"So, are you like his half  brother?" You chuckled.

           Everyone in the bar totally lost it and started laughing, even Papyrus was trying his best to hold back his laughter and pretends like it was a cough. You absolutely loved the face you earned from the shorter skeleton. He was wide eyed and couldn't get a single word out of his mouth. You were going to like this place a lot more than you predicted.