Change of Heart (Shigatsu Wa Kimi No Uso/ YLIA Fanfiction)

Five: Sanity

A/n: This book truly is hard to write. I think this is harder to write than my two medical fanfiction books. 😄😄😄

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Arima Kousei POV:

Seto Hiroko went in my room with three strangers. The one in the middle of them is a male who does have a familiar, white flag with a red spot badge attached to his suit. I don't remember where I first saw it. The other two are wearing white lab coats which made me remember my days in the mental institution.

When I saw them, my chest began to hurt. My eyes began to be filled with water. I hugged my legs to protect myself. I don't want to be forced to drink bitter medicines to people I don't trust. I don't want to go back to the mental institution and be locked up away from everyone!

I was crying silently again while I am on my bed. Seto-san sat on my bed and hugged me. She caressed me while I'm crying in fear. "What are they doing here, Seto-san? Are they here to take me from you? I don't want to be locked up again!"

"Kousei, they're here to help. They're here to treat you," she told me. "I'll be here on your side while they work on you. I hope you cooperate."

I nodded in understanding. I'm still afraid but I learned to trust her no matter what. I know that she took me away from the oppressive prison I was in before and she won't return me back there.

"What will you do?" she asked them.

"We have to interview him to know what kind of therapy he needs, ma'am. First, we have to know his past and tell us about it clearly. We will have a lot of sessions of talk therapy until he's out of his depression. All of it will be painful," he told her.

"I don't want to do it. Please, Seto-san, I don't want to talk about my past!" I yelled at her.

The two doctors looked at me with their eyes down.

Do they know the heavy pain I am in whenever I am awake?

I wanted to kill myself and I instinctively numbed myself before as I hate the endless sadness I feel. I don't know how to take the agony on my own. Please take my misery away!

"I'm Dr. Akizawa Toyama, I'm a psychologist. I work in the Japanese Secret Service. Your father is also one of us. He's also an agent in the Secret Service," one of the doctors inside my room told me.

"What- What will you do to me???" I asked.

He slowly took my right hand gently. He took an injection from a female doctor beside him. She didn't introduce herself to me but he said that she is a psychiatrist. After that, he told me as he injects something in me, "I'm injecting you with a calming medicine to help you prevent panicking."

"What do you want?" I blurted out.

I'm still afraid of them. It wasn't just the nurses I am afraid of. I'm afraid of doctors, too.

When I was in the mental institution, doctors enter my room with huge trays of injection and they would keep giving me medicines that make me feel so bad. Doctors tortured me.

I was depressed already but still, they taunted me and hurt me more while I am grieving for the deaths of those I love.

"What is the last thing you remember?" he asked me which returned me back in reality.

I looked at Seto Hiroko. I don't know what to do. I want to run away but they are all around me. "Nothing," I croaked. "I can't remember anything. I don't want doctors or nurses. Please leave."