[Chapter 1]

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Namjoon POV

School. The one thing I had never been the best at! I just can't seem to get it right!

It's like, whenever I try I get beat down by some unknown force! It sucks; wish someone knew that I actually tried.

None of that matter in this moment. As I make my way through the snow, I breathe in the toxic smoke from the cigarette between my lips.

I inhale the toxic like oxygen and try to ignore the empty feeling in my chest. Like a tight knot around my fragile heart.

"Namjoon" my friends or whatever you want to call them, is waiting for me at the entrance of the school, each of them holding on to a cigarette as well.

"what's up mate!" Jungjeon take my free hand in his and bump our chest together as a way of greeting me. We don't do hugs in our squad. Hugs are for girls and faggots.

I didn't actually like these people. However, they were all I got. No one else on this shitty school wanted to even look at me.

I had not made it easier for myself throughout the years. I could have tried to find better people to waste my life on, but I chose them when I was just a kid.

I guess I chose them because back then I was nothing, and they were what we call the "popular" kids. They would bully others and make people feel downright terrible.

I used to be like all the kids we bullied. Every single one of them, I could see myself in their faces as I helped them beat the other kids up, Terrified and in need of someone to come save them. Not today.

They had no mercy. Once they didn't even have mercy for me. I was once the new boy in town. No friends. No one to save me.

They would beat me up at the first day of school. Making me want to give up on ever trying to get any friends in this horrendous town, we all called home.

I got so much stronger doing my first year of school here. You might wonder how I ever ended up becoming friends with these people. One word. Self-defence class. Okay that was two, but you get what I mean.

I ended up beating up their old "leader"or alfa as he liked to be called. on the last day of our 5th school year. His blood had been on my hands as I walked home in victory that day.

To my surprise they had followed me home, begging me to be their friends. That's how I become the alfa. The alfa of this sorry bunch of humans.

I know that is a rather lame story. honestly it sounds so unreal and stupid. However, by now I had no choice. If I left them, there would be no sign of mercy in their eyes again.

I try to keep a more peaceful atmosphere around school, but its hard to when you hang out with these boys. They have a constant craving for blood. Blood. Blood. Blood. it's like that's all they think about.

"What are you guys doing this weekend?" Jae use a few fingers to twist his cigarette on the ground before just leaving it there. Bastard. I breathe in the atmosphere that is by now only the smoke from our cigarettes.

"I was going to hang out with this hot chick I met last night" Wookseong said, making a rather disgusting smirk as he did so. All that boy had in mind was getting in that poor girls pants. After that, he would leave her and move on to the next.

"Dude! No way! That girl from that bar?" Wookseong lean back as he take Jae's words as a praising. He let his hands hoover in the air while his arms make a V with his elbows resting on the bench.

"what can I say" he shrug his shoulders in the said position before making a sentence that made me want to vomit "Girls can't resist me" the other boys playfully punch his shoulder and laugh a sick disgusting laughter.

I stay in my own mind, it's the only way I can not get a sudden anger attack and violently murder all of the members of my so called squad.

"Hey Namjoon" Jae shake me out of my thoughts and back in the thick smoke atmosphere. I blink twice before nodding as a way of saying I was listening "The guys and I are going to skip class today, want to join us?"

"Shouldn't you try get your grades up?" I take the last drag of my cigarette. It's the 3rd one this morning. I seriously need to handle this unhealthy addiction of mine.

"When did you become my mother" they laugh and bump each other's shoulders. Really guys? You call that a respond?

"I am not your mother Jae! I am just saying, you will have to do this year over if you fail one more test" I let the cigarette in my hand hit the ground as I twist it to kill the fire complete. Unlike my friends I don't throw them on the ground, I throw them in the trashcan right next to the bench.

"Like I care! Its just one more year. Tony got some new shit that will get us all so fucked up! Come on Namjoon! Live life for once"

"You guys can go, I will head to class now" I get up from the ground and walk towards the school, not caring about their judging looks behind me. 

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