Skirts and Nailpolish \\ Namjin -Comeplete-

[Chapter 20]

We all reach our happy ever after at some point; even though we try to run from the end it will always come.

Years with him felt like months.

The time we had together felt like so little, I don't even think that forever would have been enough time for us.

He made me smile until the end, in such a way I couldn't imagine to ever live without his characteristic personality and bright dimpled smile.

Watching the love of your life die, is the worst thing you could ever imagine.

Namjoon turned 75 when he was diagnosed with cancer in his lounges.

He never changed, not even after being told what this would do to him, he never made me feel like he was dying.

On the exact same day we found out, Namjoon booked a flight to Spain, telling me this was a place he needed to see at least once more in his life.

It didn't feel like he was dying, Namjoon didn't show that he was dying.

No matter how much they walked, he would never complain about the burning pain in his sick lounges.

Namjoon managed to make the world a better place.

The money we had worked for through our long lives, was spend faster at Namjoon's last. Not because he was selfish! Namjoon wanted us to take our last taste of the world before it's over.

Spain wasn't our last destination.

We only came home to Korea for a short while now and then, always leaving for a new exciting adventure to see the world before time was up.

I guess time is always up when you least expect it.

4 years of traveling.

4 years spend with seeing places we didn't even see when we were younger.

4 years of adventures.

4 years of us.

Namjoon died at age 78, his lounges had been eaten up and devoured by cancer.

I don't think I will ever forget all of the things he told me on the night before his death, the words still being clear in my head.

I guess cancer is what you get for being cancer yourself

Not that I accepted those words, I hated hearing them spill out of his mouth.

I know you think that is crazy Jin! But hear me out! This is my punishment for hurting all of those people, for watching them cry and plead without taking action. I manged to change... you manged to change me before I hurt anymore, I don't want to hurt anymore. This pain was supposed to happen. We all get punished in the end Jin. That's why you and Kuroko will live a long life, you have never made other people feel like they weren't worth it. You are too pure.

We spend all night talking, our mouths didn't want to face the fact that when they stopped, those two mouths would never exchange a word again.

Namjoon went to sleep at 5 am, just to never wake up again.

Kuroko was there for me through it all, even when I moved in with him and his wife.

Kuroko was the one giving me the offer to be with him and his wife, now that the person I had spent the last many years with was gone.

Namjoon and I had been married since we were 27, which is by now many years ago.

Our wedding day was one of the best days of my life, the pictures from back then are still hanging in my room till this day.

It's been 10 years since Namjoon died. I manged to turn 88 just a few weeks ago.

Having my grandchildren around me every day, along with my beloved child. Brings just enough joy to forget that I have managed to live 10 years without my other half.

We must be a weird Family.

Namjoon left behind a huge amount of money and asked us all to always stay together, which we did.

We bought a huge mansion by the ocean. Our whole family is living in the house, splitting the taxes up evenly.

Kuroko and his wife got their own part of the house, just as I have mine.

My grandchildren also own their park of the house, taking cares of their own children now.

This family is meant to stay together, no matter what happens, no matter if tomorrow is my last day.

However, no matter how close we are, I won't tell them that I have cancer in my brain.

I know I have less than a week left, but I would rather see them smile on my last days, than have their crying face be the last thing I see before I leave earth.

We all deserve happiness.

And maybe Namjoon was wrong, maybe I did in fact hurt someone, Because thie cancer is cruel.

This is my punishment.

For things I never told Namjoon, things that will stay in my heart.

But its okay! I am in peace with it.

I will be dying with no regrets.